Kwipfubuza,Kwipfubura n’Ubushurashuzi byeze mu Rwanda byaba biterwa n’iki?

N’ubwo nta bushakashatsi bwimbitse bwari bwakorwa mu Rwanda, ni kenshi tumva cyangwa tubona ingo zashwanye, zatandukanye cyangwa zagiye mu manza kubera ikibazo cy’ubushurashuzi abenshi bahinduriye izina bakabwita “Ubupfubuzi”; Dr. Alfred Ngirababyeyi ukorera mu bitaro bikuru bya Kaminuza bya Kigali “CHUK”, uzobereye mu bibazo byo mu mutwe avuga ko ahanini biterwa n’ibibazo biba biri mungo.

Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe mu gihe cy’imyaka ibiri n’ibiro ntaramakuru by’Abongereza Associated Press bwagiye hanze ku itariki 08 Mata 2015, mu bantu babajijwe 41% bacanye inyuma. Abagabo 57%, mu gihe abagore ari 54% baciye inyuma abo bakundanye byaba abo babana n’abo bakundanye mbere batabanye. Urubuga infidelityfacts.com ruvuga ko muri Amerika, byibura 53% by’ingo zisenyuka zipfa gucana inyuma.

Gucana inyuma bigaragara cyane mu bihugu biteye imbere, gusa no muri Afurika birahari n’ubwo nta bushakashatsi bukunze gukorwa ngo bubigaragaze. Nigeria nicyo gihugu cya Afurika gikunze gushyirwa mu ntonde z’ibihugu bibago gucana inyuma cyane ku Isi.

Dr. Alfred Ngirababyeyi avuga ko akenshi iyo umuntu afite imyitwarire runaka bishobora kuba ari ibisanzwe (normal) cyangwa bidasanzwe (unnormal), bitewe n’uko umuntu abitekereza we ku giti cye, uko abandi bamubona bamutekereza, cyangwa Indangagaciro za Sosiyete runaka abamo cyangwa yakuriyemo.

Ati “Rero kuba umugabo cyangwa umugore yata uwo bashakanye asanze undi sinavuga ngo ni uburwayi cyangwa si uburwayi, biterwa n’icyabaye.”

Dr Ngirababyeyi avuga ko kuba umuntu yaca inyuma uwo bashakanye biterwa n’impamvu (factors) “runaka ku mubiri w’umuntu, wenda hakaba nk’intwara ishobora gutuma mu gihe runaka yagira ibimenyetso byatuma akenera umuntu w’igitsina batandukanye.”

Gusa, ngo akenshi ngo biterwa n’impamvu zo mu mutwe (facteurs psychologiques), zikomoka mu bitekerezo by’umuntu, mu migambi afite cyangwa Soosiyete.

Izindi mpamvu ngo zinagira uruhare runini mu gucana inyuma kw’abashakanye ni zishingiye ku mubano “facteurs sociaux”. Aha Dr Ngirababyeyi avuga ko umugabo ashobora gushwa n’umugore akigira mu bandi bagore, cyangwa umugore akaba yashwanye n’umugabo akigira nko ku mugabo wari inshuti ye wenda bakiri Abasilibateri, cyangwa agakubitana n’umusore wari inshuti ye cyera (atarubaka urugo) bakabikora wenda atanabitegambiriye.

Akiri ku mpamvu “facteurs sociaux” kandi avuga ko abantu bashobora kuba basangiye mu kabari cyangwa Resitora bakabikora, no kuba bashobora kuba bakorana ubucuti bwo mukazi bukazagera aho bakabikora. Aha akibutsa ko hari n’ababikora kumvo za ruswa ishingiye ku gitsina, n’izindi mpamvu nyinshi.

Abajijwe niba abona umuco Nyarwanda n’indangagaciro zawo hari aho zitiza umurindi gucana inyuma dore ko byeze mu bakuru n’abato. Dr. Alfred Ngirababyeyi yagize ati “Umuco n’indangagaciro nyarwanda ntabwo zitiza umurindi ibyo bintu, uzabyerekwa n’uko n’ababikora babihisha, n’abo bimenyekanye ni ingorane aba agize, mu ndangagaciro z’umuco ntubyemera uretse ko n’amategeko y’u Rwanda atabyemera.”

Hari aho bihuriye no kutanyurwa?

Dr. Alfred Ngirababyeyi avuga ko we atemera ko hari umuntu utanyurwa n’uwo bashakanye gusa.

Ati “Imibonano mpuzabitsina mu rugo ni ikintu kiva mu mutwe, kigira ukuntu gitegurwa, kigira inzira kinyuramo kugira ngo abantu bagere ku byinshimo bose. Ababa bagiye mu nzira z’ubupfubuzi, njye nk’umuganga abangeraho nabwo ntibanyurwa ni hahandi, ashobora kwibeshya gato.

Kunyurwa n’imibonanno mpuzabitsina ni ibintu birimo uduce twinshi (paramètres ), ariko iruta izindi ni uko abagiye kubikora baba babyumvikanaho, babiganiriye, bagafatanya kubyitegura, bagafatanya kubyitaho, bagafatanya kuvuga ngo turabikora gutya uyu munsi.

Kutanyurwa rero hari igihe rero nk’umuntu bitewe n’uko abyumva yikishyiramo ko buri uko abishatse ariko n’uwo bashakanya ahita abishaka akirengagiza ko bibanza gutegurwa kugira ngo mugenzi wawe nawe abishake, abenshi rero iyo bitagenze neza bihutira ngo kujya gushaka abandi, ariko nabwo ntibibashimisha.”

Haba hariho uburyo bwo kubavura?

Dr Ngirababyeyi avuga ko iyo abantu bafite ikibazo cyo kutanyurwa no guca inyuma abo bashakanye muri rusange bageze kwa muganga bigishwa uko bigenda kugira abantu bagere ku munezero wo mu buriri.

Ati “Akenshi abo bantu bavuga ngo abo bashakanye ntibaryoherwa, ngo mugenzi wanjye ntampagije, iyo usesenguye usanga ari ba bantu batazi uko ingo zabo zibayeho, umwe agataha ahirima aha, undi ahairima hariya, akenshi usanga ari ba bantu baba baraburanye kandi babana, ugasanga agiye kwishakira undi umubaza uko abayeho, n’ibibazo byo mu rugo, iyo batwegereye rero tubagira inama zibafasha nogukemura ibibazo biri mungo zabo.”

Dr Ngirababyeyi akavuga ko ingo zifite bene ibyo bibazo, ikiza ari ari ukwicara hamwe, cyangwa bakagana abaganga b’inzobere babishinzwe bakumva ikibazo bafite bakabafasha, kuko byanze bikunze haba harimo kibazo.

Ati “Ntabwo wananirwa kunyurwa n’uwawe ngo uzanyurwe n’uwo hanze,…abo bantu ahubwo akenshi uko biruka mu bantu nibwo barushaho kumererwa nabi kuruta uko yaza tukamufasha kureba ikibazo afite gituma atanyurwa n’umugabo we cyangwa umugore we, abo nabonye abenshi biva ku bibazo baba bafitanye mu rugo.”

Dr Ngirababyeyi agira inama abubatse kutumva ko ubwo bamaze kubahiriza amategeko ya Leta bakajya mu Murenge no mu Rusengero bihagije, “ntabwo bihagije urugo iyo abantu barangaye rugira ibibazo bakaba batangira gucana inyuma ngo niwo muti w’ikibazo kandi ntacyo bikemura ahubwo biracyongera.”

V.KAMANZI
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