Igikomere cy’Urukundo: Wagikira Ute?
Urukundo ni rwiza, rugufasha kubaho neza, rukaguha umunezero, rukaguha ishema mu bandi,… ariko rimwe na rimwe rukagutera agahinda iyo uwo wakundaga, wihariye, wasaga n’aho wubakiyeho isi yawe agutengushye, akakwanga, akigendera.
Gutandukana kw’abakundana bishobora guterwa n’impamvu nyinshi. Ushobora kubigiramo uruhare cyangwa bikakugwirira, ariko ikigaragara kenshi ni uko iyo utandukanye n’umuntu wowe ukimukunda bikubabaza kandi bikakugiraho ingaruka, rimwe na rimwe bikanagusigira igikomere ku mutima.
Ese mu rukundo ni iki gituma umuntu akomereka mu mutima cyane?
Hari ibintu byinshi bishobora gutuma umuntu akomereka mu mutima ku buryo bishobora no gutuma umuntu ahita ava mu byo gukundana burundu. Bimwe muri ibyo bintu birimo nko kuba uwo mwakundanaga agusezereye kandi wowe wari ukiyumvamo urukundo cyangwa igihe wari ufite umuntu wimariyemo wabimubwira ugasanga we ntibimurimo ndetse aho kugirango anakumve neza, ahubwo ‘akaguca amazi’ (akagupinga), akakugira umusazi kandi nyamara ibyakubayeho ntawe bitabaho. Ikindi kijya kiboneka ni nk’iyo mu bucuti busanzwe (friendship), umwe ababaje undi akaba yamuvuga nk’amagambo yo kumusebya, kumubeshyera, kumutwarira umukunzi, n’ibindi bintu byose bishobora gutuma icyizere yari agufitiye agitakaza.
Wabyitwaramo ute bikugendekeye bityo?
Abantu benshi bazakubwira bati ihangane, humura bizashira, amaherezo bizagenda neza, uzabona undi ndetse unamuruta,…ariko iyo byakugezeho uba wumva nta n’undi muntu n’umwe ku isi wari wagira ikibazo nk’icyo ufite muri ako kanya.
Aha hari ibintu ushobora gukora kugira ngo ugabanye umubabaro:
1. Gerageza kubyisohoramo:
-Shaka inshuti cyangwa umuvandimwe wisanzuraho maze ugerageze kubimuganirizaho
Ibi birimo no kuba wamuririra ku rutugu, ukarira bihagije rwose. Ibi bizagufasha kuruhuka no kurenga icyo kuri wowe wumvaga gisa n’aho ari isi yakwituye hejuru. Mu gihe ubona bigukomereye cyane, ushobora no kuba wajya kureba umuntu utanga inama (psychologue cyangwa umujyanama mu by’ihungabana), ukabimuganiriza nawe akakugira inama.
-Ntukagire ubwoba bwo kurira kandi iyo ugiye kurira si ngombwa ko uhamagara abantu. Jya ufata umwanya utekereze ku byakubayeho, nubishaka rwose ufate umusego wawe uwuririreho, haba ku mwanywa cyangwa nijoro ndetse ntugatinye no kubikora igihe ugiye koga.
2. Gerageza kwiyumva no kwiyakira
Ibuka ibintu byiza ufite kuko ntabwo ugizwe n’ibibi gusa. Iki ni ikintu gikomeye cyane kuko rimwe na rimwe abantu bakomeretse ku mutima batekereza ko ari amakosa yabo, bakumva ko nta gihe na kimwe bari bakora ikintu cyiza mu buzima bwabo. Ibi twabifata nko kwihohotera kandi ni bibi cyane kuko bikugiraho ingaruka mbi kandi nyinshi. Gerageza kwibuka ibintu byiza ujya ukora cyangwa n’ibyaba byarakubayeho, uzirikane amahirwe wahawe n’ubuzima, icyo inshuti zawe zigukundira,… Niba wowe udashoboye kubyiyibutsa, ushobora no kwegera inshuti yawe wisanzuyeho ikabigufasha.
3. Gerageza kwiyibuka no kwiyitaho
Umutima ukomeretse ushobora kugutera ‘stress’ cyane ariko ntukemere ko utuma n’umubiri wose ubigwamo. Sinzira bihagije, urye neza, ukore imyitozo ngororangingo kugira ngo ugabanye ‘stress’ mu mutwe wawe. Niba usanzwe ukunda gusa neza no kwambara neza n’ubundi komeza ubikore.
4. Jya ukomeza ukore ibintu n’ubundi wari usanzwe ukunda
Niba ukunda kujya kureba filime, n’ubundi jya ubikomeza. Niba hari igitaramo kandi ukunda ikirori ntukagitangwemo kuko bizagufasha kwibagirwa bya bibazo ufite.
5. Gerageza guhora ufite utuntu urimo gukora
Si ukuvuga ko ugomba kwiyibagiza ibyakubayeho, ariko nibura gerageza gushaka utuntu tugufatira umwanya. Iki ni igihe cyiza cyo kujya mu bikorwa bitandukanye nko guhaha, gukora isuku mu cyumba cyawe, kujya gusura inshuti, gutegura imishinga yawe uteganya,n’ibindi bintu byagufasha kubona icyo uba uhugiyeho kurusha guheranwa n’agahinda uterwa n’ibyakubayeho.
6. Ihe umwanya uhagije wo gukira
Hari abantu bihutisha ibyababayeho bagashaka guhita basubira mu buzima bwabo busanzwe batihaye umwanya uhagije. Niba ukomeretse umutima, ni ngombwa ko wiha umwanya uhagije, wo kubitekerezaho, ugashaka uko ubisohokamo ariko atari ako kanya. Kugira ngo igikomere cyo ku mutima gikire vuba cyangwa gitinde bizaterwa n’uburemere bw’icyatumye ukomereka, bitewe n’uburyo ufata icyo kibazo wagize n’uko ucyitwaramo wowe ubwawe. Ku bantu bafite umutima woroshye bikunze kubatwara igihe kirekire kugira ngo babyikuremo (aba bishobora gufata kuva ku byumweru bitatu no kugera ku mezi) ariko ku bantu bafite umutima wihangana kandi bakabifatira umwanya bashobora kumara iminsi ibiri yonyine bakaba bakize.
Hariho abantu bumva nta kintu na kimwe kizongera kubashimisha mu buzima bwabo bwose, bagahitamo kwiyahuza ibiyobyabwenge n’inzoga nyinshi, abandi kubera agahinda baba biyumvamo bagahitamo kwibabaza ubwabo ntibiyiteho cyangwa se ugasanga bababaza abandi bahuye cyangwa bari kumwe.
Si byiza kurakarira n’abataragize uruhare mu kibazo cyawe, ahubwo jya ugerageza kumva ko ibyakubayeho ari ibintu bisanzwe kandi ko nta n’uwo bitabaho, wumve ko kuba byarakubayeho abo bandi nta ruhare babifitemo kandi ntubafate nk’abanzi bawe. Ntugahite urahira ko nta wundi muntu uzongera kwizera no guha umutima wawe kuko buri gihe ubuzima buba bwiteguye kuguha amahirwe ya kabiri.
Ineza Douce
Umuseke.com
English
12 Comments
Ineza, urakoze kubwizi nama zawe kuko zizafasha bafite ibikomere batewe n’abakunzi babo.
Cyane harimwo uvuri ibikomere niwe Umwami Yesu Kristo gusa,nabwo gukunda ukimarayo ejo uwawe agahindura imirishyo byo birababaza rwose,kandi birashira.Imana idufashirize hamwe twese mu rukundo rwayo.
Ineza douce weee….
Kuli wowe koko izina ni ryo muntu. Ariko ntabwo ari izina gusa. Iyi nkuru utugejejeho ni ingirakamaro ku bantu benshi. Kandi wayanditse neza kabisa. Kuko jyewe nkunda Ikinyarwanda gisukuye, cyanditse mu nteruro nziza, amagambo atarimwo amakosa menshi, rwose biranejeje cyaneeee….
URUKUNDO
Urukundo mu bantu rwibaruka Mahirwe, rukibaruka Mahoro na Nyiraneza. Cyakora iyo rupfubye, iyo izuba ryarwo lirenze mu mpinga y’umusozi, imitima ishobora gukomereka koko. Bene ibyo bikomere abantu tugomba kubyitondera….
Jyewe wandika ibi, nkiri muto, ayo magorwa nahuye nayo. Inama mutanga rero nshobora kuzisinyira nkazemeza ijana kw’ijana.
Usibye ko mwicishije bugufi cyane mukirinda gutera abantu ubwoba. Mu by’ukuri, ingaruka zo gutandukana mu bantu bakundanye zishobora kuba mbi cyane. IMANA Abanyarwanda tugira, muli rusange, ntabwo dukunda kwiheba bikabije, kugeza aho umuntu yiyahura. Ariko ndabamenyesha ko, mu bihugu by’i Burayi, kwiyahura biri hafi kuba icyorezo, cyane cyane ku bana bafite imyaka 15 kugeza kuli 23. Abenshi muli abo bana biyahura, babiterwa nyine no gutandukana n’umukunzi. Bagasigara bumva nta gaciro bafite. Bagasigara bumva ko ubuzima nta kamaro. Bagahitamwo gusezera….
Ni mureke mpinire bugufi. Ziriya nama mwanditse hano kuli runo rubuga ndagerageza kuzifata mu mutwe. Ni inyongera ku zindi nsanganwe. Nzajya nzikoresha nganiriza abantu, cyane cyane ABATOYA bansanze…..
IYAKIRE KANDI WIHOBERE
…..maze wirekure, wirekulire UMUKIZA. Ku muntu wemera Imana, birafasha cyane. Jyewe iyo mfite agahinda, iyo ubuzima bundemereye ndaterura nkalirimba. Nkalirimba „Psalms“ natoranije
kera. Ku buryo ubu zangiye mu maraso…..
Murakoze mugire amahoro. Uwanyu Ingabire-Ubazineza
Iniza urakoze numva ntazogera gukunda umuhugu yarampemukiye numva bose aribamwe byarangoye kwiya kira ntagobyoroshye abakeneye gukurwa sibobabibona ariko izinama zawe ndumva zishobora kugira icyozigenda zimpindura ariko haricyo nibaza uzansubize Esehara bahungu bakunda koko byukuri?
Merci Ineza ku by’iyi nyandiko zirafasha abantu benshi..@Fifi…reka nsubirize Ineza abahungu bakunda babaho rwose pe!!njye nahuye na babiri batandukanye umwe wa mbere twarahuye anyicira ubuzima antesha igihe,antererana mu gihe nari mukeneye mfata icyemezo cyo kutazongera gukora ikosa ryo gukunda umuhungu mu buzima bwanjye ariko with time maze gukira n’Imana imaze kunkiza ibikomere(aha ndibutsa ko hatabaye kwishyira mu Mana ngo abe ariyo igukiza nta muntu wagukiza nyabyo)kandi uhise ushaka undi bya soulagement utarakira ibya mbere uwo mwenedata yaba agiye kugatora!!!ariko nyuma Fifi nahuye n’umuhungu mpita ntangira kwibaza ahubwo niba wa wundi wa mbere yarigeze kunkunda kweli!!yanyibagije agahinda kooose nahuye nako arankunda cyane kandi dufite umushinga wo kubana vuba..humura nawe rero nuhura n’uzi gukunda by’ukuri uzabona ko uwo waguhemukiye atari azi gukunda!!ikindi kandi Fifi buriya rero tureba ibibazo byacu dans l’immediat(muri ako kanya)urebye neza wasanga yarakugiriye neza!!ngaho mbwiza ukuri:kukureka aka kanya no gukomezanya nawe akazajya agucyuriraho indaya wahitamo iki?cg ukazasanga afite indi ngeso ikabije yaguhishe!!ibyiza suko yagenda aka kanya ugafata igihe cyo kwisubiranya ubundi ukazahura n’umwiza nyuma??nyamara buriya Imana yaragutabaye…komera rero ubitekerezeho nta n’ikosa ufite!!ahubwo Imana iragukunda..
jyewe,inshinga :gukunda singishaka no kuyumva mu matwi yange.twakundanye numuhungu turanabyarana.twapangagako tuzabana,mu nyuma arambwira ngo iwabo barabyanze ngo ntiduhuje ubwoko.(mana kiza urwanda)munsengere.
Ineza Douce urakoze cyane ku nama utanga kuko zishobora gufasha benshi. Ibyo wagiye uvuga byose wagira ngo ni jye wabwiraga, ndagushimiye cyane rero.@ Fifi: Reka nkubaze akabazo kandi uzansubize, ko uvuga ngo abahungu barahemuka ubwo nkubwiye ibyange warigitira he? Ngewe umukobwa yarampemukiye yanga ko tubana umunsi wa mariage wageze kandi twari dukundanye imyaka 6 yose,ubwo byarangiye mvuga ngo Imana yaremye abakobwa yarahemutse cyane none wowe uravuga ngo abahungu! Uziko ngewe niyahuye kubera uwo mukobwa ariko urupfu rukanyanga sha!Nange rero reka nkubaze ikibazo nk’icyo warangije ubaza:Ese hashobora kubaho umukobwa ufite urukundo rw’ukuri? Kandi uzansubize.@ Josiane: Ujye ushimira Imana kuko wagize amahirwe agirwa na bake kuri iyi si. Reka rero nawe nkwibarize iki kibazo: Ese kuri iyi si nshobora kuhabona umukobwa ufite urukundo rw’ukuri? Ku bwange ntawe ubaho. Ngaho nawe uzansubize.@ Singikundukundi:Wowe duhuje ugitekerezo, inshinga gukunda nayihanaguye mu magambo y’ikinyarwanda nari nzi. Ngewe niyo mbonye umuntu w’igitsina gore anyegereye nsesa urumeza. Ngaho abafite igihe nimukundaneeeeee muzaba mumbwira.
murukundo nta busumbane bugomba kurangwamo ,nimba buhari nikibazo ,ninaho havuka ibibazo nkibyo ,ikindi ntukwiye gukunda umuntu ngo wimarireyo kuko iyo haje ibibazo aribwo ubabara cyane ,urukundo nkurwo dukwiriye kuruharira Imana tukayikunda twivuyeyo ntakantu na kamwe dushyize inyuma ,Karim Benzema
@ Ndamwizeye,
ndagushimiye mwana w’umuntu kubera iyi message yawe. Mbega amagorwa Mana y’i Rwanda weeee!!!
Kuko wabyawe n’abavandimwe, na njye ubwo uri uwanjye ni impamoooo…
Ngutuye urukundo ngutuye icyubahiro, ngutuye impuhwe ngutuye umugisha….
Nguwo umugisha w’abakurambere. Ukugende inyuma ukugende imbere. Ukurinde kunyerera ukurinde gutsitara. Mbese uzaguherekeze kugeza lirenzeeeee…
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UMURAGE WA MUKURU
Mama wambyaye NYIRARUKUNDO, asamba asambagurika, yarampamagaye aranyongorera ati:
Ingabire mwana wanjye, nakwibarutse ku manywa y’ihangu, mwene Musinga aganje i Rwanda…
Ingabire mwana wanjye, wavukanye ishyira wavukanye impano wavukanye umugisha. Uramenye uramenye Ingabire yanjye, uramenye mwene Murindangabo, shenge weeee uzabeho uko wavutse: “IMPFURA-BUPFURA”…
Uwo muhuye wese umuhereze umukono, umusetse umusekere, umutetere umutambire….
Kandi iteka utange UMUGISHA, nkuko nawe wahuhawe mwana wanjye….
……………………………………
NDAMWIZEYE weeee,
burya hariho kuvuga no kuvugiramwo, habaho kuganira no kuganiriza abandi, hakabaho UKURI BY’UKURI M’UKURI!!!
Ntabwo ndi muto wo guta umutsima, ariko message yawe iranzonze peee!!! Yego na njye nanyuze muli byinshi, ariko nawe ubuzima bwaraguhobeye koko!!! Nawe wageze hamwe umwana alira nyina ntiyumve….
Ndagushimira byimazeyo rero, kuba wabashije kutubwira ibyakubayeho.
BIRABABAJE CYANEEEEEE…….
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SHARING = GUSANGIRA
Nkuko nabivuze, na njye nanyuze mu magorwa adasanzwe m’ubuzima bwanjye. Ku munota wa nyuma, IMANA yakinze ukuboko. Mbese yashushe numbwira ati: “Ingabire buretse kunsanga, ntabwo igihe nakugeneye kiragera. Guma hasi kuli iyo isi. Maze ubere abandi urugero”.
Kuva ubwo, nahimbye icyo bita “Selfhelpgroup = Groupe d’entraide”. Hari abakunzi duhura tukaganira mw’ibanga. Maze tugafatanya kuzanzamuka, kongera kubona akabaraga ko kubaho. KUBAHO ukemera ubuzima, kubaho ukiyakira, ukihobera ukirekurira UMUKIZA, ntabwo ari ikintu cyoroshye. Nawe urabizi, ntabwo ari ibanga nkubwiye!!!
Ariko*Ariko*ariko. Ndakumenyesha ko magingo aya, amagorwa nanyuzemwo abera abandi amahirwe. Barambwira bati: Ingabire iyo ntakugira, mba nariyahuye ngapfa peeee….
Muli make, abantu nka we na njye, bafite akamaro kanini cyane muli community.
Kuko ibyo tuvuga ntabwo ari inkuru mbalirano. Ntabwo ari ibintu twasomye mu bitabo. Ntabwo ari ubumenyi twigishijwe muli kaminuza….
IBYO TUVUGA NI IMPAMO. IBYO TUVUGA NI UKURI KWAMBAYE UBUSA. NI UBUZIMA-BUZIMA.
Ndangije iyi message nkwizeza ko, iriya comment yawe ntazapfa nyibagiwe.
FOR THAT I WILL REMAIN ETERNALLY GRATEFUL. THANK YOU.
UGIRE AMAHORO * AMAHORO * AMAHORO
Uwawe Ingabire-Ubazineza
Ingabire,
Comment yawe irandenze kabisa, ese reka nkwibarize:Iki kinyarwanda wakigiye hehe? Nkurikije ibyo wanditse nawe ushobora kuba warahuye n’ibibazo bijya gusa n’ibyange, gusa ibyange birarenze ntawundi muntu wigeze abigira. Buriya rero biriya navuze ni bike cyane ugereranyije n’ibyaje gukurikiraho, buriya navuze nka 5% by’ibyo nagombaga kuvuga.Gusa iyo selfhelpgroup yawe ndayikeneye cyane kugirs ngo mbashe kwinigura, uramutse unyemereye wazantumira nange tukicara tukayaga, ntawamenya hari igihe umwe muri twe yafasha mugenzi we. N’ubwo bitari ngombwa kwerekana e-mail yange ahangaha ariko ndayikweretse kugira ngo uzanyandikire by’umwihariko kuko nkeneye inkunga yawe by’ukuri ndetse na phone yange ndayiguha kugira ngo bibashe kwihuta:[email protected](0788628967/0728628967). Ngaho rero ugire ibihe byuzuye umunezero.NDAMWIZEYE Christian
@Ndamwizeye my dear Christian,
well thank you very much. Thank you for sharing. Sharing of sorrow, tenderness and deep spiritual love…
Kandi ndakumenyesha ko ibyakubayeho, kera kabaye, bizabera abandi urugero rutuma bazanzamuka. Icyo kizere cyonyine gikwiye gutuma ugarura agatege. Ariko imbaraga zawe wenyine ntabwo zihagije. Uzakenera abandi bantu, abantu bashobora kugutega amatwi. Gutega amatwi, ntibagire icyo basubiza cyangwa bongera kubyo uvuze. Uzakenera abantu bazi guceceka. Uzakenera amasengesho menshi. Uzakenera umugisha w’Imana ubwayo…
Muli message yawe nshimishijwe cyane n’ibintu bibiri:
1. YOUR HONESTY = UKURI-NYAKURI
Ni byo koko ibyo wanditse ni nka 5%. Kandi birumvikana, kuko hano kuri interneti ni ku karubanda. Tugomba kwiha akabanga. Ariko muri ibyo bike wanditse nahise mbona ko ari expérience extrême. Nahise, hagati y’imirongo, mbonamwo akababaro karenze kamere wagize…
Ndakumenyesha ko kuba ushobora kuvugisha UKURI, ni ikintu cyiza cyane. Bizatuma utsinda ibibazo byose uzahura na byo mu buzima. Abantu benshi burya bakunda KWIHENDA wa mugani w’Abarundi. Urugero: uhura n’umuntu urwaye “Dépression = Agahinda karenze”, wamubazi agahakana. ati nta kibazo mfite, kandi nta mfashanyo nkeneye. Eh bien bene uwo muntu aba yihenda. Reka tumuture Imana, tumusekere tumusezereho, twebwe twikomereze inzira yacu….okay!!!
2. YOUR OPENNESS = GUKINGUKA
Muli spirituality ahantu ugeze hafite izina. Umuntu nkawe bamwita “UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER”. Ni intambwe ya mbere, ni intambwe ngombwa kugirango umuntu asohoke m’urwobo nkurwo. Umuntu uhageze ntacyo aba agitinya, icyo bita “EGO = Ubwibone” arabirekura. Aremera agakingura inzugi zose, agasaba NYAGASANI ati : “Ntabara mfasha, kuko imbaraga zanjye ntizihagije”….
IYO UMUNTU YAGEZE AHA, ARAKIRA NZA KABUZA.
……………………………………
Ejo nahise nandika, bimwe ntabwo nabitekerejeho bihagije. Kuko ukeneye ukuri ndakubwiza ukuri, ariko nyine bukeya mw’ibanga….
Magingo aya, mfite akazi karuhije cyane!!!Kubera rero impamvu z’akazi, ntabwo nshobora kugutelefona cyangwa kukwandikira E-Mails. Ntabwo mbifitiye uruhushya….IBI BIHE TURIMWO NTI BYOROSHYE MUVANDIMWE!!!
Ubu ndi, ntuye kandi nkorera mu mahanga.
Iriya Selfhelpgroup njyamwo ntabwo iri i Rwanda. Ariko ndemeza ko uli impuguke kimwe na njye, ubwo rero ikirekeye Selfinitiative kuli wowe ni tayari. Kandi ndabona kuri E-Mail yawe ushobora nawe kuba uli hanze.
The Selfhelp-group I visit is called AA. AA means Anonymous Alcoholics. It was founded in the USA, but at the present time it has ramifications around the world. And they deal not only with alcoholism but also with many other mental and emotional disorders…..
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Mu mezi atatu ari imbere, mission ndimwo izaba irangiye. Sinzi cyakora niba nzahita nimurirwa i Rwanda cyangwa niba nzoherezwa ahandi. Ariko nzakora uko nshoboye maze nguhamagare, cyangwa ngusure tuganire…
Nkuko nawe ubyandika, ndemeza ndashidikanya ko tuzabasha guterana inkunga….
Ngaho rero Muvandimwe, ngo arekwa ntashira. Asigaye ubutaha.
Sincerely yours, Ingabire-Ubazineza
yemwe bakunzi b’Umuseke,mumbabarire kuko n’ubwa mbere nsoma iyi site numugenzi yayindangiye.
Je ndi Umurundi ariko ubu mba Uganda hano hirya i Kiboga.Naje hano bwambere mpakura umukunzi kandi bwarubwambere nkunda vyanambere ikibazo kuko ngarutse mvuye kwiga muri Cameroun nasanze yaratwawe ubu afite numwana akuze.Nagerageje kumurondera akanyihisha,maze kumubona twumva twanatwarana ambwira ko yaheba umugabo babana ubu kandi nanje ndamukunda vyasaze.Ngire gute?mumfashe mungire inama.
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