Urukundo ni akamenyero cyangwa koko rubaho? Experience yanjye
Nandikiye umuseke.com ngirango mungire inama kubera situation mazemo igihe kinini ituma ntekereza cyane ku rukundo bigatuma ngeraho nkibaza niba koko urukundo hagati y’abantu babiri rubaho cyangwa byose ari akamenyero.
Nsura umuseke kenshi cyane, gusa ubu mpisemo kubandikira ngo musangize experience yanjye abandi kuko k’Umuseke kenshi abantu bafite ibitekerezo bifatika kandi byafasha umuntu mu buzima runaka. Ibyo nanditse ni ibimbaho kubera ubuzima naciyemo, ndasaba ko umwirondoro wanjye utajya hanze kandi nizeye ubufasha bw’inama zishobora kunyubaka, kumpindura se no gukomeza kubaho. Umutima wanjye urafunguye kuri buri cyose cyawuconvinca bifatika.
Nemera urukundo nk’impano y’Imana ku bantu, nemera ko hagati y’abantu benshi urugero nk’umuryango, inshuti, abavandimwe, abantu bakorana, abigana…bashobora kugirirana urukundo.
Ariko ibyo maze imyaka myinshi mbona byo binyereka ko urukundo rw’umuhungu n’umukobwa, umugabo n’umugore rushobora kuba rushingiye ku kubana, inyungu, kumenyerana, kumvikana n’ibindi bintu bimwe na bimwe, ariko ikitwa urukundo cyo sinkibona.
Kuri njye impamvu ni iyi.
Njyewe ndi umukobwa, mfite imyaka 30, ntabwo ndi mariée ariko hari n’ubwo nsigaye nibaza ko atari ngombwa ahanini kubera ibyo maze igihe kinini mbona.
Kuva mfite imyaka 16 abahungu ndumva aribwo batangiye kunyiyenteressaho kubera igihagararo cyanjye gishinguye n’ubwo nari muto bwose. Kuva ubwo ntangira kumenya kuganira n’abahungu ngira amahirwe ababyeyi banjye babimfashamo bakanganiriza nabo nkamenya uko nkwiye kubyitwaramo.
Ku myaka 19 nari mfite umucopin twigana, dukundana cyane, nibazaga ko ubuzima bwose nzabumarana nawe, twari abana bakundana cyane kandi bitonda. Ibi ariko ntibyarambye kuko yahise ajya gukomeza Kaminuza yhanze y’u Rwanda. Byari urucantege kuri njye, nasabye ababyeyi banjye ko nanjye banyohereza kwiga hanze ariko ntibyashobokaga urebye.
Natangiye Kaminuza uyu muhungu nkimukunda cyane, nawe aho ari twandikirana kenshi tuvugana kenshi, ariko uko imyaka yagiye ishira byagiye bigabanuka pe. Byageze aho ntabeshye natangiye kumva agenda amvamo buhoro buhoro. Ahanini kubera iyo distance, amasaha atandukanye, kutabonana n’ibindi. Sinshidikanya ko namukundaga kuko n’ubu iyo mutekereje numva ngifitemo akantu mu mutima.
Amaherezo yaje kuza mu biruhuko nyuma y’imyaka ibiri, umusore yarakuze yarahindutse imbere n’inyuma. Ambera franc ambwira ko twakundanaga by’abana ubu afite undi mukunzi bigana aho muri Amerika. Narababaye cyane ariko sinacitse intege kuko nanjye numvaga urukundo mufitiye ruri hirya kure mu mutima byasaba nko kongera kumwimenyereza tugasubukura.
Gusa uyu musore twaje kujya twongera kubonana ari mu biruhuko ndetse ku bw’amahirwe macye cyangwa se menshi tuza no kuryamana, yari experience yanjye ya mbere, numvaga nta mpamvu nabimwangira kuko iyo twabaga turi kumwe numvaga umutima umukunze cyane, ariko twatandukana nkibaza ibyo ndimo.
Tukabyumvikanaho ko tudakundana bya nyabyo ariko twabonana tukishimisha gutyooo kugeza asubiye ku ishuri.
Ibi naje kubyivanamo nanjye, ku ishuri mbona umusore wundi witonda kandi unyereka ko nawe ankunze, ndamwemerera turakundana gusa we ntitwaryamana. Rwose turakundana cyane ariko ntibyaramba hashize umwaka umwe dupfa ibyo mbona ko ubu ari ubusa. Hari abandi bakobwa b’inshuti ze namushinjaga ko akundana nabo dutandukana dupfuye ibyo.
Ntibyatinze ndi mu mwaka wa nyuma kaminuza nkundana n’undi musore wakoraga muri Bank, mbona ari umwana mwiza cyane, anyereka ko yitonda anyitaho cyane kurusha aba mbere bose kandi ari wa muntu ufite umutima usaba imbabazi cyane uzi guca bugufi no gukora buri kimwe ngo urukundo rumere neza.
Ariko yari afite iyi defaut: Yari umusinzi umwe ukunda inzoga na football bikabije. Agasinda bakampamagara nkagenda nkamuvana mu kabari yaborewe, nkishyura, ubundi se bamukubise, ubundi yamennye nk’ibirahure biramukomeretsa…gusa yahuguka agasaba imbabazi ashikamye akankunda cyane bikanyobera nanjye nkumva ndamugarukiye.
Mu gihe nari muri memoire noneho yaduye izindi ngeso zidasanzwe, ansaba ko turyamana, ariko noneho arahatiriza bikomeye nanjye ndamutsembera, kugeza ubwo yamfashe ku ngufu ibi byo kuviola umuntu. Kuko twari dusanzwe dukundana, ntaho nari kurihingutsa ko umuntu yamfashe ku ngufu. Gusa icyo nakoze nyuma y’uwo munsi nahise mwanga, ansaba imbabazi mu buryo bwose bushoboka ariko sinashobora kwihanganira umuntu ukora viol.
Narangije Kaminuza ntangira ubuzima muri Kigali, ababyeyi banjye bakomeza guhuga no kwita kuri barumuna banjye, njye nari maze kuba umukobwa mukuru, imyaka itanu ubu irashize. Muri iki gihe nabwo nakundanye n’abasore batatu kuva aho ndangirije, babiri twapfuye imyitwarire yabo undi we niwe wanyanze ngirango bamubwiye ko naba naritwaye nabi mbere kuko we yari umusore udasanzwe witonda kandi ukunda gusenga cyane no gukora cyane.
Aho mbonera ko urukundo rwa hungu na kobwa rushobora kuba rutabaho ni aha; ni gute umutima w’umukobwa umwe ukunda abahungu benshi mu gihe cy’imyaka 10, bose uwo twabaga turi kumwe numvaga umutima wanjye umwimariyemo. Mukunze cyane, ariko hazamo ibibazo cyangwa twashwana urukundo rugakonja nkarubura ndetse tukanatana nkamwibagirwa.
Uwo twabaga turi kumwe twarakundanaga ku buryo bukomeye tukibaza ko bizageza ku iherezo ryacu, iyo birangiye nsigarana igikomere, nkibaza ko nshobora kuba mfite umutima ukunda cyane, ariko nkanibaza ko nshobora kuba mfite umutima utihangana ibibazo bikambana byinshi ku rukundo, bigatuma mvuga ko gukundana bitabaho ahubwo habaho kubana neza, kwihanganirana no kumenyerana.
Kugeza ubu iyo mugenzi wanjye ashatse umugabo numva nibaza niba bazabana akaramata, experience zihari ni uko bamwe mu nshuti zanjye zigera kuri eshatu bamaze gutana n’abagabo babo batamaranye imyaka itanu. Ibi mbyumva n’ahandi henshi mu ngo ziri kuvuka muri iki gihe, bigatuma nibaza ko koko urukundo nk’uru rutabaho ahubwo habaho kwihambira no kwihanganirana.
Ubundi nkongera nkitekerezaho cyane, nkibaza icyo ndicyo, icyo maze n’icyo nzamarira umuryango wanjye niba numva urukundo gutya kuko bituma ntekereza ko nta mugabo nkeneye, nkumva ndashaka uko nzibyarira umwana nkamurera, nabwo nkumva ntibikwiye ku muntu warezwe mu muryango, ibibazo mu buzima bita ubw’urukundo bikambana byinshi bikantera gutekereza cyane ndetse no kwadukana ibintu ntakoraga mbere, kunywa inzoga, nubwo bikiri ku rwego rwo hasi ariko hari ubwo mba numva ngakeneye nka calmant.
Abahungu benshi n’ubu barantereta ariko ahubwo ngenda ndushaho kumva nabatera umugongo kuko siniteguye gukundana nk’uko babyita, abasore b’inshuti zanjye dukundana bisanzwe, tugasangira tukaganira tugaseka hakaba n’ubwo numva hari uwo twagira icyo tugeranaho ariko ibyo gukundana nkumva wapi rwose.
Uko mbona ijambo urukundo muri iki gihe siko abandi mbona barivuga, experience z’abandi barazindakonta nkumva ni nziza ariko hashira igihe nkumva zajemo ibibazo bikantera gukomeza guhagarara mu ruhande rwanjye.
Ndasaba ko muza kumfasha mu buryo mbonamo urukundo nk’urutabaho, mungaragarize aho ibyitwa urukundo bitaniye no kumenyerana, guhorana, kumvikana no kwishimana.
Imana ibahe umugisha, murakoze.
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32 Comments
Urakoze cyane kugisha Inama, njye nd’umugabo w’ubatse, icyambere wagiye ukomozaho n’ukwihangana mubintu byose haba murukundo n’ibindi byose, ikindi rwose warajarajaye cyane bitewe nuko nuwo muhungu wambere ndetse ukora nikosa rikomeye rwo kuryamana nawe kandi uzi neza ko urukundo rwanyu rwarangiye, ikindi abo bose mwagiye mukundana byatumwe ugira imico mibi nkiyabo, rero nubwo ntakuzi ariko ndumva urumukombwa mwiza, fata ingamba uhereye uyu munsi ube umukombwa uhamye mubitekerezo, ugire umurongo muzima, uve munzoga rwose, ibaze nkawe mwari ababyeyi bareze neza, uzabe indaya ngo urashaka umwana? ibaze icyo gisebo? ibaze umwana utagira se?…. rero uzafate umwana uganire na mama wawe, umubaze ibintu byose vumva bikugoye mukubana kwabashakanye. impamvu yambere itera gutana kwabashakanye, reka nyikubwire, nuko usanga umukombwa yarabaye ruharwa, ugasanga yabanye n’abagabo batabarika, kandi agifite amarere, urumva uwo muntu yakubaka urugo? rero mababajwe nuko wiheba ukiri muto kd mwiza, ugomba kumenya ko urugo atari imikino, harimo umunezero n’umubabaro, rero ugomba guharanira ko urugo rwawe rugira amahoro, kukijyanye n’imwitwarire yawe ubu rwose fata ingamba uhinduke, nugira uwo mukundana menya ko ugomba gukora ibishoboka byose mukabana mumahoro, naho gukundwa na deception byose bizavana nawe, ese ubundi wanga umuntu ngo nuko abandi bamukunda?? kuki se utakoresha imbaraga zose ngo umwigarurire, rwose hindura ugire ibitekerezo bifite umurongo….any advice please send me email on [email protected]. Thx
waramutse my dear!rero ufite ikibazo cyumvikana kdi gikomeye…rero buriya ikintu cyambere ugomba kumva muri wowe ni uko urukundo nyarwo ruriho kdi nabahungu barufite barahari nubwo ari bacye cyane.ikindi ugomba kumenya icyo ushaka ni ukuvuga niba nawe wifuza kubaka nkuko ababyeyi bawe bubatse niba baragiriwe amahirwe yo kubana akaramata ubafatireho urugero.kdi urebe iyo mico uri kugenda wandura wibaze nawe ubwawe uti umukobwa ufite imico nkiyo akwiye umugabo umeze ate?nusanga akwiye umugabo bahuje imico uzahita ubona nigisubizo cy’igihe muzamarana kuko umusore muzima yifuza umukobwa ufite imico myiza arko umusore wimico mibi nawe nubwo aba yifuza umukobwa wimico nyiza arko ikimworohera nukugwa kumukobwa basangira ako gacupa…rero niba wifuza kubaho wenyine ukazabyara ukifasha kurera wenyine its up to you arko nkubwije ukuri ko ntawe bishimisha kurera wenyine.rero nakugira inama yo gushaka IMANA nayo Ikagushakira umugabo niba wizeyeko Ishobora byose kdi nkurikije ibyo wavuze nubwo waciye muri byinshi arko uracyafite umutima wakubaka urugo biragusaba kwitekerezaho ugahindukira ukareka ibyo wumva byaguhinduye nahubundi ntarirarenga.IMANA Iguhe umugisha nawe nshuti
Muraho, Nasomye inkuru yawe, numva ko koko wahuye n’ibibazo. wihangane sukukuvugiraho ariko mpamya ko urukundo urufite pe, gusa ikigutera ibyo byose nuko uwo urufitiye mwatanyijwe na circonstance z’ubuzima kuko umuntu wamariyemo urukundo n’uwo musore wambere, nawe ibaze ko, niba nabikurikiranye neza ariwe mwaryamanye yewe munazi neza ko mutagikundana. ariko sibyo nshaka kuvuga: urukundo rubaho ariko kandi nk’ibindi byose rurasagasirwa, rurubahwa, rurabumbatirwa.gukunda umuntu, ntumukundira ukwari bikunyuze gusa (igihagararo situation financière, umuryango avukamo cyangwa n’ibindi abantu kenshi duha agaciro). hubwo uwo ukunda n’uwo ubasha gukunda mubyukuri ibyo byose ntacyo bikubwiye, ukabasha kumwakira ukwari kose. kuko ukunze amafranga ejo agashira? byaba biheze, ukunze igihagararo ijo akavunika? nkuko kenshi babivuga basezerana uwo muntu umwemerera kumubera ingahemuka mubihe byose. ikigihe kenshi abantu bakurikira inyungu yewe n’isezerano ryabaye umuhango, ariko nuko abantu ubu babaye egoiste bakunda kumera neza gusa (abahungu cga abakobwa). njye ubikubwira ndi ndi ingaragu, uwo dukunda tubonana gake gashoboka mumwaka kuko umwe ari imbere mugihugu undi hanze yacyo. ariko nubwo utubazo kubantu bahorana tutabura aturakundana kandi buri umwe umwe agirara undi confiance.. kandi nibyo byose turabyihanganira. nkuko Juan yabivuze biba byiza byose ubishyizemo IMANA ningenze murukundo rw’abantu babiri.nkwifurije kugira umunezero no kuzabona uwo muhuza umutima
Jye nkurikije details watanze z,ubuzima wanyuzemo mbona mu by,ukuri utari umukobwa mubi ariko usa n,aho uri exigente cyane ushobora kuba ushaka kugira umugabo yenda umeze nka papa wawe kuko ubona mama wawe yarabanye na so akaramata !ukaba wubaka muri wowe uwo ushaka ibyo rero nabyita kwibeshya ariko ntarirarenga tuza uve mu nzoga ahubwo unazib agirwe !ubundi ba mu kazi kawe cyane kandi ube hafi ya famille yawe ufatanye na mama wawe utuzi two mu rugo jya usura familles ziyubaha hunga abakujyana mu nzoga bati dis moi qui tu frequentes je te dirai qui tu es!itegereze ukuvugisha agushakaho urukundo umenye back ground ye ariko ntukabye kujya muri details kuko gukosa ni ibya muntu nta mutagatifu uba kuri iyi si kandi nawe wirebye wasanga ufite utuntu tutagenda cg tutanogera buri wese ! ubwo rero urukundo si verset biblique urukundo ni ubuzima rushobora kunanirwa rurarwara rukenera kuruba hafi ugendana narwo rukenera entretien kugirango rurambe sinon ruranapfa ubuzima urabubura iyo utarya indyo ikwiye urarwara n,ibindi ni kimwe umugabo mubana neza iyo wigomwa ,wihangana kandi nawe bikaba uko none rero muvandimwe humura uwawe uzamubona kandi jya usenga ubwire Yezu uti nkeneye umugabo kandi nkeneye ko umpitiramo wowe ureba aho amaso yanjye atagera !nkwifurije kubona bidatinze umugabo ukubereyeYezu akube hafi kandi ntiwihebe
ibyuvuze byose nibyo ndemeranywa nawe ijana kuijana. IMPAMVU NIYI,njye ndubatse mfite umugore nabana 2.ariko mbereyuko ushaka umugore cq umugabo hari ibyifuzo ugira bitewe nuwo wumva muzabana yaba ameze imico ye indeshyo ye aho akomoka afite akazi se cq wikorera igikara cq inzobe …….ukunda gusohoka wambarara akaberwa uzi kwiyitaho unyitahose ukundumuryango wanjye…..nibindi byinshi bitewe numuntu uko abyifuza kugiti ke dore ko niyusenga ubwira imana umugore cq umugabo wifuza uko yaba ameze.inararibonye mfite nuko abana ari 2 ukobyagenda kose umwe abagomba kwihanganira undi iyo umwe murimwe adaciye bugufi ngo yemere umusaraba wa mugenzi muratana hatitawe kucyo muhuriyeho cyose.byerekana ko rero ukunda umuntu ufiticyumuca umushakaho bitewe nibyifuzo byawe.ntago inama rero mukobwa ca bugufi wihanganire izo ngeso kuko niko bimeze hose twabisanze ku isi tuzabisigaho bizahoraho paka isi irangiye wikwibaza ibirenze ubwenge bwa muntu kuko ibwo wakwibaza byo nibyinshi,shaka umugabo uve muribyo urimo ubyare urere ube umubyeyi nkabandi kd ntukange gukora ikintu ngo nuko kanaka kitamuhiriye,
Experience yawe ndumva yakwigisha n’abandi benshi. Uko nkumva rero ndabona werekeza munzira ya depression kuburyo bidatangiriwe hafi wazaba mubantu bakoresha cyane ibiyobyabwenge kwiyahura byo simbihamya ariko rwose ushobora kuzagera aho wumva byose ari ubusa. Ikibazo wibaza mbona ataricyo ufite. Urumva ushidikanya kurukundo nyakuri hagati ya sex oppose nyamara ingorane yawe ishingiye kuri echec zikurikiranye zakubayeho mubuzima bujyanye na sex kandi ukananirwa gestion yazo kubera ideal wari ufite nkeka ko ukura kubabyeyi ahari wibonagamo cyane. Dore ibimenyetso ufite byumuntu wahungabanijw na echecs: Gushakisha ndetse ugakomezwa nabandi bashatse bakagira echecs. Ese ntabo murahura bafite ingo nziza? Kuko uri kuruhande rwo gutsindwa nabo ubabona nk’abashinyirije bakubeshya kandi bajijisha. Harinibindi wavuze ntari bugarukeho. Inama nguha: Ndemeranya nawe ko gushaka bitihutirwa nubwo nimyaka irimo kugusiga kuko uwo mwabana waba utegereje igihe muzatanira kuburyo yagwa mubyo atazi. Keretse ubonye umuntu wakwakira ariko wamubwiye byose kandi uwo aragoye kubona. Banza wige kandi usobanukirwe ko urukundo rwabantu ruri self motivated (kwikunda kandi rugamije inyungu) ntiwumve inyungu nka material. Mukazi kimwe no murugo inshuti uyibona aho wumva inyungu zawe zitabangamiwe. Kumva ibyo bituma utibeshya ko uwo muzabana agukunda urukundo rutagira inyungu. Zirahari ugomba no kuzibungabunga nkuko nawe agomba kubigenza. Kumusekera, kumwambarira neza kumwitaho…… Abo musangira Inzoga ibyo murabyubahiriza niyo mpamvu mugumana kugeza kumibonanompuzabitsina. Kuki wumva wabona umwana?? Nuko se ntababyeyi wabonye benda gusazwa nabo babyaye?? Barahari!! Ariko kuko utaragira echecs aho ntushaka no kuzishakisha nkuko ushakisha izabubatse. Ndemeranya nawe ndetse nabandi benshi ko ingo ubu zimeze nabi ari nyinshi nubwo ntazi ko ziruta izimeze neza. Nonese ubu dutoye nibangahe bahitamo uko ubayeho kuruta kuba murugo wenda bajya bavugana nabi rimwe na rimwe? Nanjye ndubatse mfite abana mbanye neza na sweat heart ariko tumaze kuvugana nabi 6 mumyaka 9 tubanye. Ubwo se nashyira kumunzani ngahitamo ibyawe?? Never!!
Wa mukobwa mwiza we wakwisobanukiwe ukamenya uwo uri we! uri uwagaciro gakomeye cyane uramenye utazihindura agatebo kayora ivu, kandi uri igikomangoma. Mu byukuri inkuru yawe irababaje kubona waragize ama troubles emotionnels menshi. Ariko bifite igaruriro, ushobora rwose gutangira ubuzima bushya bukakwibagiza amateka mabi wagize kandi ibyo waciyemo bikaguhindukira amasomo atuma ugira umurongo mwiza. Ndagira ngo umenye ko mbere y’uko abantu bakubwira ko bagukunda, hari ugukunda cyane nubwo wenda waba utabizi cyane , ariko Imana iragukunda cyane birenze uko ushobora kuba ubitekereza. Ndagira ngo nkubwire ko ufite amahirwe yo gutangira bundi bushya ukaba undi muntu wuzuye indangagaciro n’icyubahiro kuko abantu mwagiye muhura babikwambuye kugeza naho nawe wabyakiriye nkaho koko nta gaciro ufite. Ndagira ngo rero ukanguke umenye ko hari uwagupfiriye(YESU KRISTO) ushaka kuguha ubuzima burimo ibyishimo n’amahoro, agasana ibyo umwanzi yangije muri wowe, kandi ukamenya mu byukuri uwo uri we kuko hari uwo uri we utazi. Numvise inkuru yawe numva imbabaje ariko numva naguha umusanzu mu nama kuko nanjye nagize ibihe byo kwiheba no kumva nta gaciro nta cyo maze mu isi, ariko icyo gihe niho natangiye ubuzima budasanzwe hamwe n’uwaremye byose na bose. Burya abantu bashobora kukubwira ko bagukunda ariko hari igihe biba ari ukukurarikira atari urukundo cyangwa se bafite urukundo rudahagije. Iyo vide rero wumva muri wowe nanjye nayibayemo mbabaye cyane ariko ubu c’est tout autre histoire. Wakoze kandi kutubwira inkuru yawe , Yesu agufashe kuko icyo kibazo we kiramworoheye kugira ngo akirangize, ntugire ubwoba cyangwa kumva ko udakwiriye imbere ye kuko uri uwagaciro gakomeye ntashaka ko umwanzi akwambura identite yawe. sois beni ma soeur , nous t’aimons. ushatse kumbaza kubyo nkubwiye wanyandikira kuri [email protected]
yo mukobwa mwiza ,for sure we have same experience njyewe gusa nuko kuva navuka ntarigera nkwa inzoga ahubwo nahungiye muri yesu ariko birasa ,icyo nokubwira tuza shenge nukuri pe,nanjye mba hanze yu Rwanda ariko tuza nukuri umugabo mwiza uzamubona nanjye sindubaka bitewe nibikomere mfite nahisemo gupfukama ndindiriye ijuru ko ryuguruka ,plz do not kill yoself bcs of depression no,mbabarira uve munzoga ntabyiza birimwo ncuti yanje nukuri ahubwo senga imana umugabo mwiza uzamubona .;uzanyandikirekuri [email protected]
Ariko mu by’ukuri nanjye ndumva inkuru y’uyu mukobwa inkoze ku mutima….hari abantu bagira umutima woroshye niba ariko nabyita,bakaba victim y’ubuzima bagenda banyuramo…bashobora kubigiramo uruhare cyangwa ntibanabiremo uruhare.Cyokora reka ntere mubyo abandi bavuze mubwire ko urukundo rubaho pe!!! mubwire kandi ko ibyo by’ashaka gukora atari byo!!!kandi ko n’iyo mico ashaka kwiga y’ubusinzi nta gaciro imuhesha,ahubwo bizamusubiza inyuma pe….nkashaka kumubwira ko niyo utabona uwo mukundana nk’uko ubitekereza ,igisubizo si ukwiyandarika,ubwo ndashaka kuvuga ubwo businzi ,uko gushakisha abana batagira ba se, n’ibindi n’ibindi …ni ukwiyandarika.Cyokora nk’uko benshi bazabimubwira kumenya ijambo ry’Imana ni byiza kuko uyu mukobwa narimenya, azamenya ko n’urukundo rubaho ,kandi n’umukunzi azamubona. Bishoboka bite se ko umukobwa uvuga ko yarangije University,ufite akazi ,uvuga ko afite n’ababyeyi nta kindi kimuzitira ,yabuze umukunzi nyawe? harya ngo bagenzi be ingo zabo zirasenyuka? igisenya ingo z’ubu turakizi ntago ari ibanga,ni “ukuri “kwabuze hagati yababa bubatse izo ngo .ikindi n’irari. …………..Mukobwa rero saba Imana kugukuramo “irari ” uyisabe no kugira “ukuri” kuko ikigaragara wagiye ubeshya cyane,kuko kubeshya cyane bituma nawe ugeraho ukibeshya,… uzi ikintu bita “illusions” burya zitera “Confusions”.Ubu kugeza ubu rero ibintu byarakuyobeye ,kubera ko hari ibintu byinshi wishyizemo,hari ingero zitari zo wafashe muri rusange,….Sibyo!!!….warakinnye cyane,…..wagiye uhinduranya abahungu nk’uhinduranya amashati….urimo ushaka Mr Right… mu nzira zitari zo…hindura rero ushake Mr Right mu nzira zirizo.Ntago uzamubonera mu businzi (ntago shatse kuvuga mu nzoga ,kuko abanywa inzoga bose si abasinzi).Birambabaje kuba ntari mu Rwanda,nari buzaguhamagare tukaganira,kandi nzagaruka ntinze.Ariko icyo ndangije ngusaba ni uguhindura ukareba ibintu mu buryo bwiza,ukizera IMANA,ugashaka incuti nziza zitakugira inama mbi,zitakujyana mu burara. Ndabikeka ko icyatumye wiheba gutyo ari no kuba waragiye ugira incuti mbi,kura ibirenge mu kirere ukandagire hasi.ugishe inama abantu bakuru,wikuremo ikintu cyo kubeshya,n’irari…n’ubona akanya uzanyandikire kuri [email protected]” kandi wirukane muri wowe ibyo bitekerezo byo kumva wiyanze kuko byazaguhyitsa kuri depressions cyangwa se ku kwiyahura nk’uko bamwe babivuze.
Mukobwa mwiza nanjye nsomye ibyo watubwiye nsanga waragize ihungabana rinyuramo benshi ariko nyine urisohokamo akenshi kubera impuhwe z’Imana ukabona ubonye uwo mubana akaramata. Ntiwibeshye ko ababigezeho arukubera ruriya rukundo ufite mumutwe, reka da! Nanjye ndemeza ko urukundo ruri relatif atari ideal, bivuze rero ko iriya option yo kumenyerana no kurubagarira ariyo nshyigikiye kurusha ibyiyumviro bijyana nimyaka na environment. Ubundi kubaka urugo bigendana no kumenya kurambagiza ndetse byaba ngombwa ukagisha inama kumyitwarire y’uwo muzarushingana. Uko nakumvise rero ntarirarenga uracyari muto, niwisubiraho ukareka kwiheba ujya mubusambanyi n’inzoga ntuzatinda kubona ukwifuza ngo murushinge. Uwakubwiye ko ugomba gusubira mugicumbi ukaganira na Maman wawe yakubwiye ukuri kuko azaguhumuriza kandi umubwize ukuri kubyo wanyuzemo ntazakuvamo ahubwo azakwigisha uko wabasha guhitamo umusore ubasha kubaka urugo rugakomera maze ushungure muri abo muri kumwe uwo muzambikana impeta. Nukuri ntuzigire agataro kuko wayora ivu, va muri izo ngeso mbi zose wari urimo. Wikwiha kandi ibibazo utabasha gusubiza kuko umugeni mwiza umuhabwa n’Imana s’amahirwe cg ubwenge bwa muntu.Njye ukubwira gutya mfite urugo kuva imyaka 26 kandi sinabanye n’uwo nakunze nkimenya gukunda nkaba nakubwira ko kubaka urugo bidashingira gusa kurukundo mukundana, ahubwo bishingira cyane kubyo mugamije mubuzima buri imbere.Rwose burya ubona ingo zibanye neza ntibivuze ko buri umwe aba ataragize undi bakundana kandi ntibibabuza kubaka ingo neza kuko l’homme propose mais c’est Dieu qui dispose. Ndakubujije ntuzigere wiraga kuba umugore w’agasozi utazasaza nabi society igusuzugura kandi warabigizemo uruhare.
MUCYONGEREZA BARAVUGA NGO” a friend of everybody is a friend of nobody= INCUTI YABOSE NTANCUTI IRIMO” Niba burigihe uko uhuye numuhungu ukumva umukunze ndetse ukaba uri shoboye nogukundira abantu 10 icyarimwe URUMVA KO AHUBWO WOWE URI INDAYA singututse gusa njyewe ndi umuhungu naaymanye nabakobwa barenga 3 ariko sinshobora narimwe kubakundira icyarimwe kuko sinabishobora iyo wabishoboye nuko uba warenze ihaniro utakigira rutangira, iyo uknze abantu 10 icyarimwe nkuko wowe ubikora nuko tarukundo uba ugira ahubwo uzabe indaya bigire inzira kuko indaya nizo zibishobora ibintu nk’ibyo, INAMA NAKUGIRA NUKO WABANZA UGASENGERA ABO BADAYIMONI BAGUTERA GUCARACARA NO GUHEHETA BAKAKUVAMO, NGAHO NAWE TEKEREZA RWOSE UMBWIRE NIBA HAGIZE UMUSORE UGUKUNDA BYUKURI BWACYA MUGITONDO YAGIYE MURI MISSION Y’ICYUMWERU KIMWE MAZE YAGARUKA AGASANGA WIKUNDIYE UNDI UBWO UZAVUGAKO ARI WE UTAGIRA URUKUNDO??? Ahubwo ushobora kuba urwaye indwara bita nymphomania( gushyukwa cyane bituma umukobwa acaracara mubahungu benshi akibwira ko abakunda kandi urukundo nyarwo ni urw’abantu 2 gusa, iyo barenze 2 uba wabaye indaya kandi nikimenyi menyi nuko ufite gahunda zokubyara umwana ariko ntubane numugabo, urumva ko abakora ibyo ari indaya zonyine nizo usanga zifite abana benshi batagira base bazwi, abo bana umeneyko uzabateza ipunwe ryinshi nibamara gukura bakumva ko ari ibibyarirano bazaterwa ipfunwe nokuba baravutse k’umubyeyi gito witwaye nk’indaya kandi abo bana bazajya babaha urwamenyo bahaba inkwenene aho banyuze hose bavuga ngo nimurebe bya byana by’ibibyarirano!!!!! Nziko hari abagabo bameze nkawe batagira urukundo bagakunda abgore benshi icyarimwe ario abo si abagabo ni ibyohe, None se urumva intabilité ufite ishobora kukugezahe? nuwakuzanana afite umutima wokurwubaka rugakomera ashobora kurwara yamara icyumweru kwa muganga agsanga wikundiye ndi!!!! Wowe menya ko ibintu byose bisaba kwihangana no kwigomwa, njyewe ukubwira ibi ndi celibataire ariko iyo mbonye abakobwa ndifata nkumva ko nzaryamana n uwa njye Imana yangeneye kandi nudufaranga nkorera nkadushyira kuruhande kugirango nzagire icyo nigezaho ariko wowe nuwakuzana ndumva wamukenesha kuko wayamarira munoga cyangwa ukayajyana mubapfubuzi kuko ndumva arizo gahunda ufite zokujya kureba abapfubuzi bakakubyarira nkaho uri inyoni( inyoni niyo irongorwa ningabo zigareukana ubwo ubundi abana bavuka ntibamenye se bakaba banabyarana na se wababyaye lubera ko batamuzi)GUSA UMBABRIRE NTIWUMVE KO NGUTUTSE URUKUNDO RUBAHO KANDI NIWIKURAMO IINGESO ‘ ZIKURIMO UZARUBONA1° jya wirinda gukunda abahngu barenze umwe2° jya ugira kwihangana niba uwo ukunda atakuri hafi wumve ko ugomba gukora sacrifice ukabyihanganira ariko ukizera ko one day muzabana ubuziraherezo3° Jya wirinda ibitekerezo bipfuye nk’iby’indaya byo kumva ko wabyara abana batagira base4° jya wirinda ingeso zubusinzi5° jya wirinda kugendana nabantu nakwitwa batari intanga rugero, niba ugendana nabantu babaye divorced gusa urumva ko ntakindi bakwinjizamo usibye kukwereka ko nawe uzaba divorced ibyo bigutera negative influency( mubuzima niwumvako ko isi ari mbi nibiyirimo byose bikaba bibi, bizakubera bibi da, ariko niwumvako isi nabayituye ari beza izakubera nziza kuko mucyongerea baavuga ngo what we think definy what we will be, = ibyo dutekereza nibyo bitugira icyo tuzana cyo. , umuntu niyumva ko nubo ari umucyene azakora ariko akaba umukire azabigeraho, ariko niyumvako uko yabigenza kose azapfa adakize, niko bizamugendekera azapfa adakize rero nawe niba wumva urukundo rutabaho ahubwo habaho agakungu nkako wirirwamo, zajya kubona ubone ubaye agacyecyuru ugifite imyumvire nk’iyabana ntacyo wimariye ntaniyo wamariye umuryango wawe,!!!! njyewe ntekerezako urukundo rubao nikimenyienyi so nanyoko barakundanye kugeza uyumunsi bagikundana, bazakubera urugero reka kugendana nabajura niba udashaka kuba umujura, reka kugendana nabasambanyi niba udashaka kuba umusambanyi, reka kgendana nabasinzi niba udashaka kuba we, JYA UGENDANA NABANTU BAFITE AMATEKA AHAMYE MUBUZIMA NIBA NAWE WIUZA KUBA UMUNTU UHAMYE, mugifaransa baravugango dis moi tes amis je te dirai qui tu es= MBWIRA ABO UGENDANA NABO NZAKUBWIRA UWO URI WEUVANE MO UMUTIMA UCARACARA, IVANEMO GUHEHETA, IVANEMO INGESO YOGUKUNDA ABAGABO BESNGI ICYARIMWE, IVANEMO KUMVAKO NIBA INSHUTI ZAWE ZOSE ZARUSHINZE BYAGERA NYUMA RUGASENYUKA, ABANTU NKABO UGOMBA KUBAGENDERA KURE KUKO NTANAMA NZIMA BAGUHA KUKO BURIWE SE ABIBA IBIMURIMO!! ugomba guhindura imitekerereze ugagindura n’inshuti ndetse ugahindura n’imyitwarire ubundi ukareba ukuntu urukundo rugusanga rkakwizaniraIMANA IGUHE KUMENYA RUKUNDO NYARUKUNDO KANDI NKWIFURIJE KUBONA UMUGABO MUKARUSHINGA RUGAKOMERA NAHO IBYO KUJYA MUBAFUBUZI NGO BAKUBYARIRE UKABIVAMOGOD BLESS YOU
Va mu byaha , ‘ Kubaha Imana ni bwo bwenge kandi kuva mu byaha niko kujijuka” usenge Imana izaguha urukundo n’uwo muzabana akaramata. Imirima n’amatungo ubihabwa n’ababyeyi, ariko umugore cg umugabo mwiza umuhabwa n’Uwiteka. Senga maremare rero uzasubizwa. Imana igufashe.
ndagushimiye kutugezaho uko ubona urukundo, njye ndabona wari ufite urukundo ruzima ariko wageze aho uraruvangira ! umukobwa uryamanye n’abahungu barenze batatu aba atangiye guhungabana mu mutwe ! iyo ukunda umuntu mukabana urukundo rukomezwa no kwihanganirana, kuko kumenyerana nabyo birukomeza ! urukundo rero si ukumenyerana kuko ushobora kumara n’umuntu imyaka myinshi ariko mwaba mwaratangiye kubana mudakundana mukabana nabi ariko iyo mukundana murababarirana, mugasenyera umugozi umwe !gerageze ugarure ubwenge urukundo rubaho rwose
Uraho; nakubwira ko urukundo rubaho, gusa ufite ikibazo cyo gushakira urukundo mu demonstration nkaho ari imibare, urukundo rwaremwe n’Imana kd ikigaragara nawe urakunda ariko ugashaka gushyiramo ubwenge bwinshi cyane cg se philosophy; siko rero bimeze ! urukundo hagati yumugabo n’umugore cg umukobwa n’umuhungu rurahari urugero: uva aho bakureze bakakumenyera kimwe cyimwe cyose mugasangana ndetse ukanahagwa (gupfa kuko twese tuzapfa), urwo ni urukundo rero numvise inkuru yawe wahuye n’ibibazo bibiri icya 1 wagize deception ari nayo igutera kwibaza ibyo bibazo byose icyakabiri niba numvise neza wagize incuti mbi, kuko umukobwa nkawe w’imyaka 30 gusa uziranye n’abakobwa barenga 4 bakoze devorce ni ikibazo jye mfite iruta iyo nubwo nzi ko bibaho ariko ntamuntu tuziranye wakoze divorce, ibyo nibyo bituma wibaza ibibbazo byinshi murukundo, aha ndagaruka kucyo wavuze ko urukundo ari ukumenyerana ayo kuko ari ibyo warongorwa na musaza wawe cyangwa umuturanyi wahafi kuko ariwe mwamenyanya mbere, ikikwereka ko ruhari nuko nawe wemeye ko urufite; impamvu wanyuze mubahungu benshi rero nuko wananiwe kwakira deception wagize bivuze ko ntanumwe wigeze ukunda nyuma yo kubura incuti ya mbere,ibindi wabikoze ushaka kwikuramo ibyambere niyo mpamvu bitaguhiriye, nakugira inama yo guhindura incuti kandi ukareka gushaka kunywa inzoga kuko uragana habi, genderera ingo uzi kandi zibanye neza ndahamyako ubuhamya bwabo bozongera kukubaka bundi bushya, wibukeko hari umusore usenga kandi witondaga wagiye utazi icyamujyanye, buriya hari imyitwarire watangiye kugira kuko ugishakisha urukundo icyo aricyo, (recherche), aho rero ushobora gukora amakosa nawe utabizi, kandi wibuke ko isi umuntu agomba kugendera kumurongo uri parallele niyo abandi bagenderaho, kandi kwihangana bikaza imbere. ngusabiye umugisha kuko urimo umugore mwiza.
Ariko se namwe ko musetsa, abamugira inama ngo azajye kugisha inama nyina, ntinamubwire uburyo azabyitwaramo murumva atari ishyano. Ntamukobwa muzima uryamana n’abahungu icumi. Umuntu mukuru yahita yiyahura abyumvishe kuko nta kirerwa aba yaragize. Gisa njye namubwira ko yamubaza ariko akamenya uburyo abihindura. Nko kumenyana n’abantu gusa bakamuca intege. Mbese banyarwandakazi mwagenze gake, umenya satani yaraduheye. Ahubwo uno muvandimwe we aracyari muzima. Ubundi se ubwo, umugabo wawe koko wazaba umushyiriye iki gishya byose warabishyize hanze. Kurijye urukundo ruhera kuri dignité umuntu aba yarihaye. Murakoze
Ubwo ukitwara gutyo kandi ndeba ushaje nta mugabo uzabona! Indaya gusa. Kubona wemera kuryamana n’umuntu wakubwiye ko yifituye undi mukunzi akunda by’ukuri!! Stupid!!!!
Ese ubundi indaya nk’iyi iba ishaka umugabo w’iki? TEKEREZA RWOSE UMUKOBWA UKUNDANA NABAHUNGU ICUMI ICYARIMWE KANDI BOSE BAKAMUJYA HEJURU oalalalalalala, elelelele, ubwo se umugabo wakujjyana ntiyaba yigeetseho umusaraba? wowe uri birihanze yewe ndumva nimpamvu utanyurwa nuko wasogongeye kubitsina byose ukaba utakigira igaruriro,ubwo se wamugani umugabo akugize umugore wajya umuhoza kunkeke kuko igikomye cyose wajya umubwira ko abagabo batagira urukundo kandi wibagirwa ko so yakunze nyoko!!!! wowe nekereza ko warenze red line( warenze ligne rouge, warenze umurongo ntarengwa) none usigaye umeze nk’icyihebe, UBUNDI NTAMUKOBWA WIYUBAHA USHOBORA KUBYARA ABANA BATAGIRA BASE INDAYA NIZO ZONYINE ZIKORA IBYO NHO UMUKOBWA WAREZWE NABABYEYI NTASHOBORA NOKUBIROTA MUNZOZI , IGIHE CYO GUHINDUKA NI UYUMUNSI IVANEMO IBYO BITEKEREZO BIPFUYE NIBA KANDI UTARAGIZE AMAHIRWE YOGUHABWA UBURERE BUZIMA USHOBORA NOGUSHAKA ABANTU BAKUZE BAKAJYA BAKUGIRA INAMA KUKO NTABWO WABA WIYUBAHA WUBAHA NABABYEYI BAWE NGO UTEKEREZE KUBYARA NK’IGISIGA KUKO NICYO KIBYARA ABABANA ARIKO KITAZI ABAGABO BABABYAYE, tekereza nubyara umukobwa ntamenyese noneho yamara gukura akaba yarongorana numuhungu bahuje se kuko utabimubwiye? cyangwa ndetse nase wabana bawe akaba yabarongora kubera ko bataziranye????? yewe mukobwa rwose reka kwirirwa wangiza umutima wabasore ngo urashaka urukundo, ntugaegeeze ko urukundo ari abani bazaruguha, ahubwo jya wumvako ari wowe ugomba kurutanga, naho niba wumva ntarwo wifitemo ntuzibwire ko nabandi ariko bimeze, rwose njye nzi abagabo bafite urukundo ndeste bakagira nurwo gutera nyoni, NIWOWE UDAFITE URUKUNDO KANDI WARUTAKAJE UMUNSI WEMEYE KURYAMANA NUMUSORE WAKUBENZE AKAKUBWIRA KO ATAGUKUNDA ARIKO WOWE UKEMERA KURYAMANA NAWE, KUVA UWUNSI WARIROZE , WARISUZUGUYE, WIYATSE AGACIRO KOSE WARUFITE KUKO AMAZI NAKUBWIRA NGO WINYOGA UZAYABWIRE KO NTABYIRO UFITE, UWO MUSORE AKIKUBWIRA KO AKUNDA UNDI MUMAHANGANAWE WAGOMBAGA KUMUBWIRA KO NTAGITSINA CYAWE UZAMUHA BIKARANGIRIRAHO, NAHO WOWE WATANZE IGITSINA NKAHO UTANGA INZOGA IBISHYE WARIZINUTSWE NONE IKIBABAJE NTANUBWO UBONA KO AMAKOSA ARIWOWE ATURUKAHO cyakoze ubwo watinyutse kugisha inama ushobora kuba hari agatonyanga k’urumuri rw’ubwenge gatangiye kukumurikira buhoro buhoro, rero shaka aantu bakuze kandi byubaha aribo bakugira inama yewe nomuri izi nama z’umuseke ndabona hari besnhi baguhaye inama zifatika, so rero zikurikizeGOD BLESS YOU, nubona umugabo uzagaruke hano udhe ubuhamya. NJYEWE INAMA NAGUHA NI ESHATU GUSAIYAMBERE: uzabanze wige fidélité (kudaca inyuma umukunzi kandi reka kwitwara buraya wiheshe agaciroICYAKABIRI: ikuremo yuko umugabo ariwe ugomba kuguha urukundo wenyine, nawe ugomba kurumuha kandi urukundo bivuze kwigmwa byinshi, kwicisha bugufi ICYAGATATU: tangira wige uko urukundo rusigasirwa ntiwumve ko umugabo aribwe afite ibyo akugomba, ahubwo nawe wumve ko ufite icyo ugomba umugabo( ibintu ari magirirane )
URUKUNDO WAGIRANYE N UWA MBERE NTA NTEGO RWARI RUFITE KUGERA N AHO MURYAMANA KANDI UZI NEZA KO MUDAKUNDANA BY ABAZABANA UWO MWABIKORANYE WE YARI AZI ICYO AKORA NAHO WOWE NI FEELING WISHAKIRAGA NANUBU UKUNDA FEELING NIYO MPAMVU BYOSE BISA NK AHO BYAKUYOBEYE,GUHERA UBU SOBANUKIRWA NO GUKUNDA cg GUKUNDAGURA.
Wa mwana w’umukobwa we warahungabanye, ufite icyo bita IDENTITY CRISIS yaturutse ahanini kuri AB– USE y’urukundo mu mibanire yawe na opposite sex. Maze kuganira n’abakobwa bageze kuri 7 bafite ikibazo kijay gusa n’icyawe; nasanze abakobwa benshi muri iki gihe mufite confusion ibabaje ubwoba yo kutamenya abo muri bo, icyo mushaka n’iyo mwerekeza…Inama:1. Vuba na bwangu va mu nzoga wihuse2. Egera Mama wakubyaye muganire3. Sura kandi uganire n’ababyeyi bubatse, bajijutse kandi bafite ingo zikomeye (after all twumva mu makuru indege zakoze accidents gusa ariko ntitujya twumva izagezeyo amahoro, kandi nizo nyinshi)4. Gerageza gusobanukirwa n’impamvu institution yitwa marriage (vie conjugale) yabayeho.Ubundi abashakanye bategetswe kuba sous le meme JOUG/YOKE (ari naho hava ijambo con-jugal), nibwo bashobora kubana neza ndetse bakarambana; ibi byoroha iyo mwembi mujya kwegerana (closer spirtually and physically), ikibazo aho kiri uyu munsi ni uko usanga abakobwa benshi spirtual level yabo iri de-synchronized kubera gukururukana n’abasore/abagabo benshi…None se mukobwa mwiza ni gute wakundana n’abahungu 6 mu myaka 10 (ni ukuvuga nibura 1 / every 1.5 year) warangiza ukibwira ko uzasohoka muri iyo predicament ukiri umuntu muzima… ? Ibi ni abuse, kuko burya urukundo, n’ubwo abantu benshi batabizi, it is all about CHEMISTRY in your brain: iyo ukundanye n’umusore/umukobwa hari chemicals nshya zikorwa n’ ubwonko bwawe ndetse hakavuka new neurones and new receptors (snapses)….izi chemicals ni nazo zituma kandi iyo uri mu rukundo wumva wishimye, uguwe neza, uryohewe n’ubuzima, rimwe na rimwe ukumva umeze nk’umuzasi (ukaba rimwe na rimwe wanakora ibidakorwa)… Iyo rero nta stimulation ukibona ituma izo chemicals zikomeza kwisuka mu bwonko (wenda umuhungu mwakundanaga yaragiye kure yawe cg mwanganye), za chemicals ziragabanuka cyane, za neurones zimwe na zimwe zigapfa,… bityo ukumva nta rukundo ugifitiye wawundi wakundaga, ahubwo ukumva ufite le vide… Iyo ibi bikubayeho ukiri umwana bisiga ikimenyetso gikomeye muri wowe (ni nayo mpamvu burya abana babuzwa kwishora mu rukundo n’abasore igihe batarakura bihagije); kuko, iyo iyi phenomena ibaye repetitive kenshi kubera gukururukana n’abahungu benshi, brain yawe (your physica brain, your conscious and your subconscious) isigara iri disoriented, so will be your spiritual life, ugasigarana igikomere muri subconscience yawe……Ibi rero nawe nibyo byakubayeho ndetse wowe ugeze kuri phase ya 3 ya depression, niba ntacyo uhinduye mu buzima bwawe uzisanga wageze kuri stage ikurikira urimo unywa liqueurs n’urumogi (niba utaratangira)…5. Gerageza gusenga nyabyo (singombwa ko ujya mu idini runaka cg se ngo witabaze ba pasteurs), sengera kugaruka mu murongo mwiza waremewe…Ibi birasaba kubanza guca bugufi (niba waba wishyira hejueru mu buryo ubu cg buriya…)6. Ibi nkubwiye hejuru nibyanga, uzasange abaganga bavura roho.Ukeneye izindi nama, wanyandikira kuri [email protected] ishya n’ihirwe.
Niba hari ikintu gikomeye kibaho ni Urukundo! Rukomeye kubera ko utakora etude ngo uruvumbure muri facettes zarwo zose, rukomeye kandi kuko utarukoraho cg ngo urubone mu muntu nk’uko ubona uko imyenda yambaye isa, ariko kandi rubaho! Rubaye rutabaho abantu bose bo mu isi baba bari depressed nk’uko byakugendekeye!Ngarutse ku kibazo cyawe, biragaragara ko wabayeho neza, utahuye n’ibindi bibazo by’ubuzima bikomeye ariko kandi ukanaba uri sincere muri wowe akaba ariyo mpamvu utazi ko umuntu yakubwira ko agukunda kandi wenda anabeshya, cyangwa se akagera ubwo ahinduka kubera impamvu zitandukanye. ikindi n’uko sincerete yawe ituma utabasha gukora analysis ngo umenye icyo ukubwiye ko agukunda ashaka n’aho uri kwerekeza bigatuma wenda wirebera gusa iby’inyuma bimwe byateye ngo ni beau gard (sinjya menye uko byandikwa), aracyeye, afite masters yize USA, ni uwo mu mbyeyi, afite akazi keza, ntagenza ibirenge, n’ibindi nk’ibyo byaduka kandi cote moral ari vide, animal, mbese urukundo rwe ari urwo ku muntu bigamije kwinezeza gusa! Nawe niwisubiramo ugakora analyse uzasanga usibye wa muhungu wa mbere wavuze ko wakundaga abandi bose uzasanga ari ibyo byo hejuru warebagaho, none se ubwo koko urumva utari responsible w’ibyo bikomere bagusizemo?Ikindi kibazo wahuye nacyo gikomeye ni ugukundana igihe kitaragera!! Iyo umuntu atangiye ibyo gukundana akiri muto haba hari probability yo gu failing iri hejuru cyane, nka 99% kuko urukundo rwe ruba rwuzuye amarangamutima gusa, rudashingiye kuri reality kandi atashobora kururwanirira igihe bibaye ngombwa kuko burya iyo ukunda n’ikintu ntawapfa kukigutwara ngo umwihorere keretse ubonye ngirango wanahasiga ubuzima. ubu se umuntu yagutwara n’agasaha kawe mugakiranuka ubaye ugakunda?Utanamushoboye wajya kumurega, ndabeshya?Ariko kubera ko abahungu mwakundanye nyuma wabivagamo bigakunda kandi umaze gukura n’uko burya wabaga utabakunze nyabyo, ahubwo wabaga wabishumbushije gusa! Ingaruka zo gukundana umuntu akiri muto cyane cyane ku bakobwa Rodrigue yazigarutseho neza cyane, none se wagize ngo biriya bintu by’ubu copin sibyo byamaze abakobwa kubera kubarongora bakiri bato ngo ni ba copin!? Bityo numva ukwiye gufata ko ubu noneho utangiye bundi bushya, ubu ariho ugiye kujya wakunda, uzi ibyo urimo, icyo ugamije n’icyerekezo kizima. Urukundo rubaho ariko mu bantu ruba self motivated kandi hari uwabigarutseho, iyo rero uhitamo mu bantu wakunda wirinda gushyiraho za motivations ziri unrealistic, egoist cyane, wrong maze wabona mu bagusaba urukundo hari uwo ubona uganisha muri icyo cyerekezo ukiyemeza kumukunda kandi mu bihganiro mugirana ukagomba kumenya ubuzima bwe ari nako wumva nawe niba motivations ze zidahabanye n’izawe kuko burya uko uba hari ibyo umushakamo niko nawe hari ibyo aba agushakamo, rero urumva ko biramutse bihabanye mutahuza. Uzirinde abasore wumvamo gusa kugukundira ko uri mwiza, wamubaza motivations ze ukumva nawe ubwe ntazo azi, iryo aba ari irari gusa gusa ndetse hari n’uwakubeshya agushakamo inyungu wenda kubw’akazi keza ukora, kuko wize utamurushya akurihira, kuko uvuka mu rugo rwifashijebabagoboka muhuye n’ikibazo, etc…Ibyo ni egoisme ikabije kuko burya urukundo runagaragarira muri sacrifice.Maze rero, byashoboka rowse ko wakunda umuntu ugasanga uko wamutekerezaga atariko umusanze, hakurikiraho kwihangana, ukarwana ishyaka ryo kubaka urugo, uagakora inshingano yawe yo kumukunda, ibndi ukabiragiza Imana ikaba ariyo imuhindura cyangwa se igahindura wowe kuko byashoboka ko we yaba ari mu nzira nziza ari wowe uri mu itariyo. Ibindi wumvana abantu cyangwa ubona ntukabi generalise kuko mu igambi yawe ukwiye kwigiramo intego iviga ngo naho ingo zose zo ku isi zaba zitabanye neza ariko urwanjye rwo ruzaba rwiza kandi ukabiharanira.Imana izaguhe urugo rwiza!
@ EMMY, ako kantu uvuze ndakemeye cyane, aho ugira uti (Ibindi wumvana abantu
cyangwa ubona ntukabi generalise kuko mu migambi yawe ukwiye kwigiramo
intego ivuga ngo naho ingo zose zo ku isi zaba zitabanye neza ariko
urwanjye rwo ruzaba rwiza kandi ukabiharanira.) IKIGARAGARA NUKO UYUMUKOBWA WATUGISHIJE INAMA NUBWO AKUZE ARIKO WAGIRA NG NTA CONSCIENCE AGIRA( asa nutagira umutima nama) kuko niba inhsuti ze zashwanye nabo zashakany zimubwirako atazarushinga ngo rukomere ahita abyemera bigaragara kowe ubwe ari limited ntellectualy kuko iyo ufite ubwenge bucagase abandi nibo bagutekerereza ariko iyo ufite ubwenge bwuzuye niyo wagirwa inama ariko ugomba kwifatira ibyemezo , we ameze nka wawundi ubona abaturanyi be barahinze bakarumbya noneho akavuga ati nanjuye sinirirwa nnjya guhinga kuko nzarumbya nkuko abandi barumbije, ariko aho kureba abatararumbije akareba abarumbije( uyu mkobwa ari very very negative) NJYEWE RWOSE NDASANGA UMUGABO UZAKURONGORA WAMUKOBWA WE AZABA AGUSHIJE ISHYANO IKINTU UBUZE NI UBWENGE NTAKINDI KANDI UBWNGE BURYA NIYO UTABUVUKANYE UZIBKE WAMUGANI UVUGA NGO BURARAHURWA, jya wegera abantu bafite ingo nzima bakugire inama kuki ureba ababanye nabi akaba aribo ugira urwitwazo kandi nyamara ababanye neza aribo benshi??? hari umuntu wakubwiye ngo kumaradio na televiziyo biririrwa batubwira indge zagize impamnuka ariko izitagize impanuka ntibazivuge( niba wumva wumve icyo uyumuntu yashatse kukubwira) ababanye neza barahari kandi nibo benshi, birababaje kubona umukobwa w’imyka 30 yirirwa atandaraje bamujya hejuru barangiza bakamujugunya, ibyo byose niwowe ubyikururira kuko utazi gutekereza ngo ifatire ibyemezo biri positives ahubwo ugakururwa nibintu negatives gusa!!
Yooo mbega wowe,umva urukundo rubaho rwose nubwo ubona ibyo byose byakubayeho uzageraho ubone uwo muhuje kd mubane neza najye byambayeho ariko ubu nagezaho mbona ufite urukundo nyarwo birenze uko ubyumva .Thx
Umva mukobwa mwiza, rwose urukundo rubaho ahubwo wowe ushobora kuba ugira emotions cyane zikaba zagushuka yewe ukagera naho uryamana n’umuhungu. Ntabwo ndi inzobere muri psychology ariko ibyakugezeho si urukundo. Gusa na none ntarirarenga, fata ingamba ukomere k’ucyemezo cyo kutiyandagaza uryamana n’uwuje wese, cyanke se ngo wishore mu nzoga, menya umuhungu mukundanye icyo agutegerejeho kandi nawe ube uzi icyo umutegerejeho, urebe niba afite gahunda ihamye atari iyo kuguteshya igihe, erega shyenge ntibazakubeshye umuhungu ugukunda kandi wifuza ko muzubakana, ntabwo yirirwa ata umwanya ngo aragusaba ko muryamana kuko aba azi neza ko igihe kizagera ukaba uwe mukishimana akaramata. IBYIZA BIRI IMBERE.
Nshuti yanjye abantu benshi bibeshya ku rukundo, barugereranya n’ubukonje cg ubushyuhe,n’impumuro se cg ibindi ariko urukundo ni decision. Urukundo ni ibikorwa. Ese wowe urumva ufite iki? Tekereza neza icyo ufite maze ushake uwo wagiha ngo anezerwe ntabwo mvuga gutanga umubiri wawe ahubwo ndagusaba guhitamo muri abo uwo umutima wakunda mae ukazamwubahisha ibyawe byose, wishaka gukundwa… Kunda. Kunda niwo muti kandi uabikore wabyiyemeje. Nuhitamo utyo Imana izaguhitiramo uzabasha kwakira urwo rukundo kandi nawe akaruguha. Ubwo wumva urukundo fata iyamere werekane icyo aricyo unatange urugero rw’urukundo. Ibyo wagize rero ni sensation ntabwo ari urukundo- urukundo rubaho- ni rwiza- ariko ntabwo rworoshye nk’ururabo rw’iroza ahubwo rukomeye kurusha isarabwayi- rufite imbaraga kurusha mazi kuko urufite nta kimukanga- yikubita hasi maze aho kurambrara akamera nk’umupira urimo umwuka akidunda akagaruka ejuru- hitamo neza rero biagufasha kandi uzibuke ko kwihangana—-Bible iti: ibikomere by’umukunzi biva ku rukundo.
you are right, urukundo hungu-kobwa ntabwo rubaho ahubwo habaho amarangamutima yo kwishimira ikintu kiguteye ubwuzu cg umuntu uguteye ubwuzu kubera! Gusa menya ko kwiyandarika atari umuco w’i Rwanda. Ubwo watangiye kujya mu nzoga ndetse ngo hari n’abo ugerera ku ngingo nkuko wabyivugiye! Urebye aho isi igeze nta shyano wakoze! Menya gusa ko gushaka umugabo cg umugore ni ugufata icyemezo, ugahitamo umuntu ufite imico uzashobora kwihanganira! Niyo mpamvu n’abakristu bavuga ngo mbere yo kubana, icyibanze ni ukumenyana! Kumenya imico! Naho iby’urukundo hungu- kobwa byibagirwe, ntuzigere wibeshya na rimwe ubana n’umuntu ufite imico utakwihanganira ngo uramukunda! Rwose njye ndi kumwe nawe ibyo wavuze ni ukuri urukundo hungu-kobwa ntirubaho, ubuse aba sokuru bacu bashyingiranwaga bataziranye, babaga barakoze ibi twita gukundana? byababuzaga kubana se kandi neza kuturusha!; gusa bo babaga baratojwe imico myiza cyane, bitandukanye natwe, twabaye ibyigenge! Maze rero muvandimwe gerageza urekeraho kwiyandarika uve mu nzoga kuko bitangira buhoro buhoro maze ufate ucyemezo cy’uwo muzarushingana kugirango muzabashe kurera abana mwembi! kuko mu mutima w’umuco nyarwanda umuntu wigira ibyo utekereza yitwa icyigenge kandi agakenya umuryango bakamwita igikenya! Imana y’i Rwanda Ihorana nawe!
Nonese ko uvuga ngo ufite inshuti 3 zashatse nyuma bikagenda nabi, nizo nshuti zonyine ufite zashatse, kuki se utareba izindi nka 20 zashatse bikagenda neza? Dore icyo wakora. Hindura imitekerereze. Ihe umuhigo wo gutekereza neza ibyiza, ibibi, gutsindwa, gutana ubyirukane muri mind yawe. burya erega ibitubaho akenshi bituruka mu byo twirirwa dutekereza. Uzagerageze uzaduha ubuhamya nyuma.
Murakoze ibitekerezo byanyu byose nabicishijemo amaso.yewe n’ikibazo umwana w’umukobwa afite nakibonye .Ribara uwariraye.nimwicecekere imana yonyine niyo ifite igisubizo.kuko ibyo bisangiwe na beshi. Njye ndubatse nd’umugabo mfite umugore ,mfite inzu nziza rwose izi zigezweho,mfite akazi yewe na madam afite akazi amafaranga dukorera urebye arahagije nta credit dufite.ariko ubuzima wanyuzemo bwose nabunyuzemo nubwo ndumuhungu.nubwo nashatse nabuze urukuko.madam ntakibazo dufitanye tubanye neza nabana nuko, ariko iyo nicaye njyenyine numva ntacyo bimariye kubaho.sinakwiyahura kuko ari icyaha.ariko ngira umubabaro udashira iyo nigunze harigiye madam ambaza ikibazo mfite nkabura uko namusobanurira nkaseka akabonako birangiye ubundi bikagarura mungire inama yicyo nakora kandi ndasenga pe ndetse cyane benshi bifuza kubaho nkanjye ariko njye wapi.
Umva ncuti, njyewe icyo nakubwira nuko ubundi urukundo rwa hungu-kobwa rutabaho, ahubwo iyo abantu 2 bahuye barwishakamo kubera admirations cg se izindi nyungu zitandukanye, kandi wibuke ko ibi byose ari ibishira, Ubundi njye uko mbibona nuko nta rukundo hungu na kobwa rubaho, byose biba ari ibyakanya gato, ariko iyo mufashe icyemezo cyo kurushinga, muba mugeze ku ntera ishimishije.Muri urwo rukundo, usanga abakundana badakundana ku rugero rungana, Njye ndi umuhungu, nakunze nk’abakobwa barenga nka 5 mu bihe bitandukanye, ariko na none, abandi bakobwa nka 3 bangaragarije ko baankunda kandi baranabinyereka ariko njye nkumva nabakunze cyane.Mu rukundo, habamo kwihanganirana no kwakirana, kandi burya rero iyo umuntu aciye bugufi abasha kwihanganira byinshi, rero gerageza guca bugufi umenye kwakira no kwihanganira ingeso za ton future mari,ugomba kubisengera
Urukundo ndumva waruvuze ahubwo utazi ko arirwo. urukundo ni ukwishimana, kubabara, guseka, kurira, kwihanganirana, etc… ndumva byose wabyivungiye
Imana ikubabarire ikorohereze kuko uraremerewe nshuti ! Naho ubundi urukundo urarufite ahubwo n’uko warugiriyemo igikomere!! Umuhungu wakunze mbere wamwimariyemo ugeraho muryamana kuko ntiwari kuruhishira. Nyuma ye rero wagerageje ahandi ariko ntiwabibasha kuko wari ukifitemo urw’uwambere nubwo wari uzi neza ko mutakiri kumwe. Ahubwo urwawe ntirusaza pe!! None rero nubwo ushakira aho ubonye ukanageraho wiyandarika, humura IMANA yo iracyagukunda kandi iragutegereje ngo uyisunge ariyo ikugenera!! Humura hari aho ugera ukarambirwa nanjye byambayeho ariko ubu ndashima IMANA!
Uraho ubushize nasomye iyi nkuru ndandika ariko nabonye itarakugezeho. Nshushanije ufite conflit yo gukunda no gukenera gukundwa ariko na none guha definiton urukundo byarakugoye bituma ugira deception , icyo wita urukundo n’iki ese n’urwo tubbonana abo twita ko babana neza? Ingo z’intangarugero? cyangwa couples zishaka kurushinga zivugwa ko zikundana? Ese urukundo n’ukugirirana neza? ( Dona dona) Abantu dusobanura urkundo bishigiye cyane ku byo twifuza ko abandi badukorera kuruta uko twabibakorera. Biroroshye ko duhemuka ntitubabare cyane ariko abandi baduhemukira ibintu bigacika muri twe tukumva ubuzima bubishye, Ndagira ngo dutandukanye urukundo n’inkundo. kandi ngendeye kuri expereince yawe n’izacu.Umuntu n’iki muri aspect y’urukundo?Umuntu wese agira icyo akundira mugenzi we N’ukuvuga ko urukundo rwa muntu rufite ikigombero( conditonnelle) bitewe n’ibyo umuntu aha agaciro kurutisha ibindi ( valeurs) akaba ari nabyo bigenga amahitamo ye y’ uwo yifuza kuzabana nawe. Burya nyuma yo kubona inshuti abantu batangira. kwigana ari na ko buri wese yumva akeneye kwigaragariza mugenzi we neza ngo rwa rukundo. rusagambe ariko hari n’ibyo amuhisha kuko bimenyerewe ko umuntu bimugora kwihanganira ingeso mbi za mugenzi we. Kuko rwa rukundo rw’ikigombero arirwo twahaye agaciro.Rero ibyo biba ku mpande zombi z’abakundana. Iyo rero umwe ari kure y’ undi za nyungu zitangira gutakara. Havuka amakimbirane rero iyo umwe yagumye kuri rwa rukundo undi yaruvuyemo ari byo nibaza ko byakubayeho. Birashobka ko inyungu wa wundi yagushakagaho yabonye ku bandi izirenzeho bigatuma yigendera. Ibyo n’ibntu biriho cyane mu nkundo z’abantu.None rero muvandimwe nkurikije ibyakubayeho, mbona wowe ahubwo ufite urukundo rw’umwimerere bituma ushaka kuguma mw’isezerano ry’uwa mbere kandi we yararivuyemo kera. Kuko iyo bitaba ibyo hari abandi uba waremeye muri bariya.Urukundo rubaho rero, ariko abitwa ko bakundana si ko barugira kimwe niyo mpanvu usanga habaho gushidikanya niba urukundo koko rubaho.!!!!!!Ariko amahirwe ufite n’ uko wamenya ko kw’isi huzuye za deceptions z’inkundo n’ubndi buzima, ariko tukagira amahirwe akomeye ku bemera Imana y’ uko dufite utwikorerera imitwaro yacu, akanaturuhura, kandi akdushakira n’igisubizo ku bibazo byacu. Menya ko rero niba abantu badakunda Imana yo iragukunda kandi igusaba gusa umutima wawe kugira ngo uruhukire muri yo. Ureke kwishingikiriza ku myumvire n’ubwenge byawe.Uhange amaso ku Uwiteka nawe azaguha amahoro atemba nk’uruzi ubeho uriho.Tubanze dushake Ubwami bw’Imana no gukiranuka kwayo ni bwo n’ibindi byose tuzabyongererwa. Imana Igukize gushidikanya urukundo rwayo. naho urw’abantu rwo n’ urw’IKIGOMBERO( CONDITIONNELLE)
Ncuti Yanje URukundo Rurabaho.Ariko Kandi UMwe wese Buriya ARafise UWoyashikira AKumva Yamukunze Kandi AKumva Yakwihanganira AMakosa Yiwe UKo Yaba AMeze Kose .Ncuti URukundo Ruriho ARiko Biragoye Kurubona!!!
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