Nakwitwara nte mu kibazo cy’ababyeyi banjye batanye?
Nakunze ukuntu mugira abandi inama, nanjye narinje mbagannye ngo mumfashe kukibazo kinkomereye. Ntimutangaze amazina yange. And if possible you may let me know when you post this. Thanks in advance
Nkora akazi k’ubuganga mubijyanye n’insimburangingo n’inyunganirangingo( ortho_prothesist)
Ndi umusore mfite imyaka 28, mvuka muryango w’abana 9, nkaba ndi umwana wa 6.
Ababyeyi banjye batandukanye muri 1998, kugeza n’ubu papa aba ukwe na mama aba ukwe ariko akanabana n’abashiki bange. Papa ntiyigeze ashaka undi mugore na mama ntawundi mugabo yigeze ashaka.
Kubera ko ababyeyi banjye batandukanye nkiri muto cyane, kwiga byarangoye cyane mbese byabaye nk’inzira y’umusaraba ariko kubw’ imbaraga z’Imana narize ndarangiza ndetse mfite n’akazi kambeshejeho, gusa ntabwo nkibana n’ababyeyi kubera impamvu z’akazi.
Hari igihe papa ajya gusura aho nakwita murugo iwe, ariko iyo ahageze intonganya murugo ziragaruka kubera ahanini ko mama yamaze kwishyiramo ko ari umupfakazi, bashiki banjye nabo bishyizemo ko ari imfubyi, na papa nawe akumva ko iyo ageze murugo yumva yakubahwa nk’umugabo murugo, ibyo rero bigakurura ubwumvikane bucye.
Gusa aho mariye kubona akazi nagerageje kwita kuri mama ndetse n’abashiki bange mbakura mubukene kuburyo bugaragara, Ariko ubu ibibazo mfite bitumye mbasaba inama ni ibi:
1.Nikihe nakora cyatuma nongera guhuza papa na mama dore ko ntanazi n’icyo bapfuye kandi ubwo umuryango wanjye wose ninjye uba utezeho amaboko? (kuko muri bose ntanumwe wabashije kwiga usibye njyewe gusa)
2. Muby’ukuri nta rukundo ruturuka kuwo nita papa nigeze mbona, kandi ubwo iyo namusuye aba ambwira ngo arashaka ko mwubakira inzu ye bwite kuko aho aba arakodesha, kandi sinabona ubushobozi bwo kubaka inzu 2 kuko nari nararangije kubakira mama.
3.Ubu nari ngeze igihe cyo kuba nashinga urwange rugo, ariko iyo ndebye ibyo bibazo byo mu muryango numva ncitse intege, ubu se nzabigenze nte?
4. Nanone iyo mbonye ubuzima uwitwa papa abayeho numva agahinda kanyishe ariko kandi nkabura andi mahitamo?
5. Ese hari undi muntu waba yaranyuze mubuzima nk’ubwanjye, akaba yangira inama uko yabyitwayemo?
Murakoze mugire umunsi mwiza
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Uzaganire neza nabavandimwe bawe bose ubakoreshe inama muzagenzure ahantu musangire nurangiza ubasabe ko mwaganira kubyerekeye ababyeyi banyu ubumvishe ko bagomba gukunda na se niyo yaba adashobotse ibyaribyo byose ni se wababyaye ubasabe kandi ko bagomba gutinya Imana bakubaha se nkuko bubaha mama nimubyumvikanaho nyuma uzongere ubahuze bose ubasabe ko papa wanyu akwiye kugaruka murugo kandi agahabwa icyubahiro nkumubyeyi ubwo uzafatanya nabavandimwe bawe mwongere muganire na mama wanyu mumusabe mwihanganira papa wanyu bagasubirana buhoro buhoro bizagenda biza ariko mubisaba ‘n’ Imana ikabasha kuzarangiza Ikibazo cyababyeyi banyu .
Ikibazo utugejejeho kirakomeye kuba umuntu yabona uko yakugira inama. Uwagendera kubyo utubwiye, yasanga Papa wawe yarahohotewe na Maman wanyu agahitamo gutanga amahoro akigira aho yaruhuka amahane ya maman wanyu kuko iyo aba umunyabibazo aba nibura yarashatse undi mugore umuhoza ibibazo nyoko yamuteye. Bigaragara ko Papa wanyu rero yakundaga abana be kandi akaba n’inyangamugayo. Yifuzaga ko abana nibakura bazabahuza na maman wabo bakumva ufite amakosa, bakamucyaha agaca bugufi, bakongera bakabana mumahoro. Ikindi kigaragara nuko maman wanyu yashoboye kubigarurira, akabahumisha ntimubone ko hari uruhare yagize mukutumvikana na papa wanyu. None se nawe ko uzashaka; umugore naguhohotera uzabyemera igihe cyose? Uko mbyumva kandi kubera imyaka mfite, ntibijya bibaho ko umugabo akorera umugore amakosa ngo umugore ayaceceke, byanga bikunze arabivuga bikajya hanze, nyamara iyo ari umugabo uhohotewe, bikunze kugaragara ko aceceka agashiriramo ntiyandagaze umugore we cyane iyo bafitanye abana, bikaba bishoboka ko ariyo mpamvu namwe mutigeze mumenya icyo bapfuye. Ubwo ujijutse rero uhere naho maze umenye icyo gukora, kandi ntuzashake kubaza papa wawe icyo yapfuye na maman wanyu, kuko hari n’igihe kukimenya byahungabanya umuryango wose. Urugero naguha usanze uwo wita so atariwe wakubyaye wabyifatamo ute? Uzihererane maman wawe muganire ugerageze kumubaza, nawe natagira icyo akubwira ntushyireho ingufu, ahubwo uzamusabe ko yacisha make umusaza akagaruka murugo kubwuko bibatera ikimwaro kuba ababyeyi banyu batabana. Ari umuntu ushyira mugaciro yakubaha igitekerezo cyanyu.
inama ndi bukugire nuyikurikiza izatanga umusaruro mwiza icya mbere ugomba kumenya nuko yaba papa wawe yaba mama wawe bose bakubyaye uragomba kubakunda gusa ikigaragara nuko mama wawe yavunitse cyane ngo abarere kubera ko mwari benshi kandi umugabo baratandukanye bityo mama wawe ukaba ugomba kumwitaho ukamuba hafi ukamugenera ibikwiranye nibyo yakoze ndetse yewe ukanarenzaho kuko yabikoraga atanafite ubushobozi buhagije. ariko na papa wawe niba ntawundi mugore yashatse buriya nuko yabonye ntawahwana nuwa mbere kandi uko kwihangana kwe ntikube imfabusa imbere yawe nabavandimwe bawe kora uko ushoboye n’imbaraga zawe zose n’ubwenge bwawe bwose umushakire aho kuba ndetse jye nahitamo iruhande rwaho witako ariho iwanyu ndavuga aho wubakiye mama wawe. uhubake inzu niba hakiri aga parcelle ucecetse ya deux chambre na salon naga toilette na douche numara kuyuzuza uzafate mama wawe na papa wawe mwenyine ntuzagire icyo ubwira abavandimwe bawe batazaguca intege wiyimpose nkumuntu mukuru kandi ubasha kuba ariwe ufite ubushobozi uzabafate ubajyane ahantu mwenyine papa, mama wowe, ubabwire uti ntitaye kubyo mwapfuye, ntitaye kumyaka mumaze mutabana, ntitaye kungaruka byatugizeho twese mbasabye ko mwanduhura mumutima nange nkazabasha gushaka urwange rugo umugore wanjye ntazamenye ibyabaye iwacu none rero iriya nzu nayubakiye papa ngo aze ayibemo nawe mama uraguma muyo nakubakiye abandi bana tuzagenda dufatanya gushaka ubuzima kuri buri wese ariko mbasabye kubana hamwe kandi mukubahana uwo nzasanga yateye undi hejuru nzamwirukana kandi nimworoherana bizantera imbaraga zo kubashajisha neza ubigisheeeeeee nurangize ufate papa wawe umuzane uhamare iminsi mike uzafate aga conge hanyuma ugende abavandimwe uzabashyire devant le fait accompli buriya nabo ntihabuzemo abatekereza nkawe babuze uko babikora nibabikubaza uzabahe ibisobanuro ubundi nubasha kubigeraho uzaba ubabanishije indirectement aho gushaka kubunga utazi icyo bapfuye kandi bose bazahora bafite ubwoba bwo kurenga kubyo wababwiye bubahane ubundi uzabashajishe neza kuko bose barakubyaye kandi Imana iravuga ngo wubahe so na nyoko kugirango uramire mu gihugu uwiteka Iman izaguha ukigiriremo umugisha nukora ibyo imigisha izisuka kandi uzagira urugo rwiza ndakwinginze ubikore utyo utazaseba papa wawe yaguye kugasi ukazabura umugisha w’Imana usenge Imana ibigufashemo
Umucyo, ndagushimye cyane. Umugiriye inama nyayo. Sha biteho ufite amahirwe uracyafite ababyeyi.Uzabona ko ari byiza ku munsi w’ubukwe bwawe igihe uzabona bicaranye maman wawe bamuhaye igiseke papa wawe bamuhaye inkoni n’ingofero.
Ikibazo cyawe kirakomeye Imana niyo yo kubigufashamo. Hari abaturanyi bacu bari bafite cas nkiyo yawe neza. kuko ndibuka neza iyo umugabo yasuraga urugo rw’umugore we twese twarabimenyaga kubera intonganya, ariko burya uko byamera kose iyo ababyeyi batabana aba ari igisebo kubana babo kandi bo uko byagaragaraga papa wabo yari mubi ariko na Mama wabo akaba umunyamahane. Icyari kibabaje n’uko papa wabo yari abayeho ubuzima bubi kubera ko abana bafashaga Mama wabo arinawe bubakiye, ariko twajyaga tubumvisha ko bazakorwa n’isoni zirenze igihe Papa wabo yazagwa ku gasi kandi yarababyaye. Igihe cyarageze rero umwe mu bana be wafashaga Nyina yaramwubakiye afata icyemezo nta n’umwe agishije inama yubaka akazu ka chambre 1 na salon mu gikari cy’inzu ya Mama we imaze kuzura amenyesha Mama we ko agiye gucyura Papa we uwo munsi ahita anamuzana, kubera ko yari umusirikare kandi abandi bavandimwe batamushyigikiye yafashe conge y’agahe gato yo kubigisha bose no kubumvisha agaciro k’umubyeyi uko yaba ameze kose. Igihe cyarageze Mama we arabyumva aca bugufi akajya ateka akagaburira umusaza yamutuka akamwihorera. Ndakubwiza ukuri ko n’ubwo umusaza bamuzanye yarabaye nabi cyane Mama wabo yaramurwaje kandi n’ubwo wabonaga Mama wabo atoroshye ariko Papa wabo yari mubi kurushaho , igihe cyarageze Umusaza arapfa baramushyingura ariko nk’abaturanyi ntacyo twashinjaga abana bari barakoze ibyo bashoboye. Nawe rero courage gerageza ucyure umusaza kandi Imana izabigufashamo.
Urakoze Cadette, uru rugero rwiza arwigireho.
Nsomye igitekerezo cya Cadette nsanga gihuye nicyange sinari nakabonye icya cadette kare nandika inama twaguhaye zikurikize udakuyeho nimwe nange nuko nabuze aho mbyandika hari famille twari duturanye bandukamywa nuko umugore yari umututsi umugabo ari umuhutu muri genocide umugabo yica abavandimwe bumugore arafungwa afunguwe umugore yanga ko babana umugabo aragenda arasembera abaho nabi bukeye umukobwa we twarakoranaga atugisha inama kandi atubwira byose ntacyo ahishe pe ibibi bya se ibyiza bya nyina nibibi bye twe twamugiriye inama tutitaye kubututsi cg ubuhutu twitaye kububyeyi kuko bose ni ababyeyi be tumusaba kubakira se akamugarura kuko mama we bari baramwubakiye inzu nziza cyane ari umusirimu abana benshi ntibakundaga papa wabo kuko hari umuvandimwe wa mama wabo yishe barora ariko yari yarasabye imbabazi yemera icyaha nabo bose arazibasaba uwo mukobwa we icyo yakoze yamaze kubakira Se aramuzana nkuko twari twarabimubwiye amuha inzuye nziza isukuye ya 2 chambre na salon abyumvisha mama we nabavandimwe be bose barabyemera kuko yari yabibatunguje ntakundi bari kubigira buhoro buhoro bagiye babana,umugore icyunamo cyagera bakamutwara mungo zabo abana be nyuma agataha agasanga papa wabo yamenye urugo yahagera papa wabo akamucira bugufi akumva ko yamuhemukiye byarangiye bariyunze nubu bariho uzaze nkwereke abana babo cg nabo mbakwereke bakugire inama babanye neza bamaze gusaza byose byarashize ibyo kandi na kera byabagaho ababyeyi bagatandukana bakazungwa nabana bakongera bakababanisha courage rero gerageza bizakunda kandi bibaho
Umucyo na Cadette, Imana ibahe umugisha ku nama mutaze nu buhamya kuruyu muvandimwe ufite ikikibazo, nukuri nkozweho, umuntu akwiye kunja yubaha ababyeyi no kubakunda chanee tutitaye kumafuti yose bangira ubwabo. Muvandimwe kurikiza izinama baguhaye urazakuruhuka nawe ubwawe.
UNYIBUKIJE ABABYEYI BANJYE UBWO BATANDUKANAGA MURI ZA 1986, MAZE KU BW’IGITANGAZA CY’UWITEKA BAGASUBIRANA MURI ZA 1990 TUTAZI IMPAMVU DUFITE IMYAKA 8, 4, etc, etc. IBAZE RERO IYO 1994 IZA TUKIRI MURI AYO!!!UZAKORE UKO USHOBOYE WEGERE IMANA IZABIGUFASHAMO.
salut,kugirango ubone amahoro rero muvandimwe nuko ubanza ugashyira uwo musaza ku murongo,kuko uko nabyumvise nu bukene naho umwubakiye inzu waba ubaye nyamwongera bibi ,kuko aracyafite amashagaga yahita arongora,bikakubera ikibazo,kuko nta mugabo uca imbyaro ,yahita abyara abandi adashoboye kurera ukarera,egera muzehe umubwire ace bugufi,kera data yajyaga abwira abagabo bamashagaga baje kuburana na bagore babo ngo umugabo utabaye inganzwa nti yubaka.
Inama bakugiriye ninziza, cyakora gukunda ababyeyi ni byiza cyane, ariko papa wawe umwubakiye atabanje gusabana imbabazi na mama wawe ndumva wenda yahita ayirongoreramo undi mugore maze bakibyarira abandi bana. None urumva bítaba birangiye noneho!!!!
Mbere ya byose wihangane.mbere nambere uzabanze uganirize mama wawe wumve icyo akubwira cyijyanye na so.after uganirize papa wawe nawe wumve icyo yapfuye na nyoko noneho last uzaganirize abavandimwe bawe nabo wumve ibitekerezo byabo nurangiza uzahuze ibyabo byose uzabona umwanzuro uhamye.kdi ntukabasubizanye umujinya cg ngo ubereke ko mutarikumwe uzabe nkiryarya nubona bakuganiriza bababaye nawe uzajye ubababara nibishima wishime murakoze mugire ibihe byizs
Icya mbere ni ukubanza kuganira na buri mubyeyi ukwe, ukamenya icyo bapfuye, kuko ntabwo wakunga abantu utazi icyo bapfuye. Warangiza kukimenya ukaba wabagira inama yatuma basubirana biturutse kucyo bapfa buri umwe akiha kucyo abangamiraho undi.
bareke batane ko nubundi se bajya kubana utari uhari. ahubwo urimo uravunwa nubusa. shaka ibyaguteza imbere kandi wihe nagaciro naho abantu utazi uko bakundanye bakanakubyara niba baruiyemeje gutana ntacyo wowe wakora. kereka bo ubwabo bafashe umwanzuro wo gusubirana. nibakwitabaza uzabagire inama utabogamye.
uzegere ababyeyi bawe ubabaze icyo bapfuye gusa ntihazagire numwe uterererana yaba papa wawe cg maman wawe ngo kuko nabo hari uwagutereranye uakore inshingano zawe zo kubasha uko ubishoboye bizakurinda kutazagira remords mu buima
http://www.jw.org/rwUrubyiruko
Muvandimwe iki kibazo si wowe wambere ukigize kuko jye byambayeho ababyeyi batandukanye kuva muri 1995 kugeza 2011 mu kwa 9 gusa nshima Imana nyuma yo guhangayika no kubabazwa nibyo nabonaga ubu ababyeyi barabana komera wihangane kuko hari umunsi ibyo udakeka ko bishoboka bizaba gusa witwararike ibishoboka ngo abon babyeyi ube inshuti yabo ntukagire aho ubogamira kdi ujye uhagarara kukuri kuruta amarangamutima kdi ujye wunva buri wese ukwe hanyuma wihitiremo icyo wakora gerageza kunvisha abavandimwe bawe ko nta shema mwaheshwa no kwitwa abana batazi agaciro ka se kdi babwire ko icyubahiro cyanyu mugikura ku babyeyi kabone nubwo ntacyo baba barabafashije tuzacogore kdi ntuzarambirwe nibatakunva kuko harubwo muzaba amakipe 2 asa nahanganye kuricyo kibazo ariko nukomera kuntego uzatsinda ibyo nkubwira sibyo nunvanye undi nijye ubwajye byabayeho nkwifurije gutsinda
Mbere yabyose mbanje kugushimira kubere igikorwa usabira inama nicyiza kandi kigaragaza ko uri umugabo;kandi ibyiza byose Imana ibibamo gusa banza ugishe inama Imana maze wowe igukoreshe kunga umuryango;reba abo muvukana uganire nabo ubiyegereze bakwiyumvemo;maze urebe uwo mama akunda kuganira nawe kandi yemera mbese ubanze kumva ibitekerezo bya maman wawe ;nyuma umwegere ukwe umwumve icyo yifuza kd cyubaka ;maze nawe umwumvishe uko wumva byamera kuko maman wawe niwe numva waba ipfundo ryigisubizo;usange na papa umuganirize umwereka urukundo unamwumvishe nyuma yo kumenya icyo bapfuye;ko umuti ari ukubanza kd bagakunda abo babyaye aribo mwe ko aribyo byabubaka ndabwo wabunga utaramenya icyabatanije.ganira naburi umwe ;umenye icyo bapfa uvugute umuti Imana igufashe muri icyo gikorwa cyiza ufite
Iyo umuntu asabye inama arayigirwa, kandi ndashima ko uri umwana ufite uburere, umuco n’urukundo kabone nubwo wakuze uri mubibazo bikomeye ,icyo nakubwira cyo nukubanza ukamenya imico yababyeyi bawe na reactions zabo kugira ngo utazata umwanya wawe wubusa ntugire icyo ugereaho kandi ufite igitecyerezo cyiza, banza wegere papa ukwe, muganire kandi umwereke ko umwubashye nkumubyeyi wawe, na mama uzabikore utyo, hanyuma ukoreshe inama nabo muva indi imwe, ubagaragariza ububi bwo kugira ababyeyi batabana ningaruka mwese bibagiraho, buri umwe umusabe gushaka igisubizo, wowe uzaba uretse gutanga inama zawe, kubera ko aribintu birebire ugomba kwemera bikakuvuna, uzajya mu miryango yo kwa so ushake umuntu winyangamugayo waho umuganirize ikibazo unabikore no mu muryango wa nyoko, hanyuma ibyio byose uzabikusanya maze ukuremo kimwe kiganisha mukubahuza , kandi bamwe muribo navuze hejuru bazabigiramo uruhare , wirinde kubikora wenyine burya ntagihe umwana atagarira ababyeyi be ko atakiri umwana , byose uzajye ubushyira mu maboo y’imana maze uyisabe kugyfasha kandi wirinde gusbhyiraho ikimeze nkitegeko?ibyo wabikora gusa ubona ko aribyo bituma bubahiriz aicyifuzo cyawe, biragoye ariko birashoboka….
Uri umuntu w’umugabo.Papa wawe birumvikana ko we yemera gutaha mu rugo, mama wawe agufite nkumugabo we ntagikeneye papa wawe kdi ubakunda nkuko natwe dukunda ababyeyi. jya inama mwiherereye nabavandimwe mubicoce umenye nabo uko bahagaze, nyuma wegere mama aguhe imvo nimvano nigituma atagishaka kumubona kdi yarigeze kumukunda maze uzapime ubwihangane bwa nyoko na so uzabone kuba wakwemera ko babana. ibindi rero mwana wa mama aho kuzigera ubona ishyano ryo gukubitana rishyira kwicana by’ababyeyi igore ufashe papa agonde akazu abamo ndetse niyiyemeza gushaka undi mugore uzamureke abone uzamusazisha azabyare abo ashoboye kurera na mukaso nushobora kubigiramo uruhare. kandi ingaruka uzazibwire nyoko ntukamutinye gusa ntuzamuteremo ikidashoboka.
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