‘Divorces’ ziri hafi kungana n’ubukwe… Impamvu n’umuti wa ‘Nyinawumuntu’
Hirya no hino mu gihugu muri week end zose (usibye mu cyunamo) nta itabamo ubukwe, gusa muri iki gihe mu nkiko naho imanza zisaba ubutane ngo ziriyongera umusubirizo, hari abemeza ko biri ku rwego rwo hejuru cyane. Umuseke waganiriye na Mukasekuru Donatille wo mu kigo kitwa “Nyinawumuntu” kigamije kirwanya amakimbirane mu ngo. We asanga ibyo gutana kw’abashakanye bihera bakirambagizanya.
Ikigo “Mpore Mutma w’Urugo Center’ cya Nyinawumuntu gitanga ubujyanama ku ngo zubatse ndetse n’abashaka kubaka. Gufasha kandi ingo ziri mu makimbirane kuyasohokamo.
Ni ikigo kitagamije inyungu giherereye Kibagabaga hafi y’urwibutso rwa Jenoside rwaho.
Mu myaka yashize ingo nyinshi zarashingwaga zigahama, abashakanye bakabana uko byagenda kose. Imibereho n’uburere bya none ngo byahinduye byinshi birimo no gutanya ingo.
Mu bukwe bwa none, umugeni n’umukwe baba bagaragaza urugwiro ndetse bamwe bakanerekana urukundo imbere y’imbaga n’ababyeyi, ibintu bitahozeho hambere. Ariko nyuma ibikurikiraho rubanda idahari ngo bikaba bibi bikageza no ku gutana kw’ingo zimwe.
Mu manza z’imbonezamubano ubu ngo 80% ni iziba zisaba gatanya. Ndetse hari n’abasaba gutana bataramara umwaka umwe babana.
Muri Amerika n’Iburayi imibare igaragaza ko kimwe cya kabiri (1/2) cy’abashakanye birangira basabye gutandukana. Muri Africa, no mu Rwanda by’umwihariko hari abemeza ko ariho naho bishyiira.
Mukasekuru Donatille bita ‘Nyinawumuntu’ yashinze ikigo kigamije gukumira no guhagarika amakimbirane yo mu ngo biciye mu bujyanama ngo umurindi w’ingo zitana ugabanuke. Kuko ngo abana barerewe mu ngo z’abatanye nabo iyo bakuze bagashaka gutana n’abo bashatse biba byoroshye cyane.
Donatille avuga ko urugo ubundi ruba rukwiye kuba ijuru rito, uwubatse akumva ikinyuranyo cy’igihe yari ingaragu, urungano rwe n’abatarubaka bamubona bakifuza gushaka. Iki ngo nicyo agamije kugeraho….
Azabishobora?
Nyinawumuntu yize ubumenyamuntu ndetse ubusanzwe ni umuganga ariko ngo yasanze kuvurisha ibinini n’inshinge bidahagije kuko umuntu ari mugari. Niko yagiye kwiga “psychology clinic” ngo avure icya ngombwa mu bantu, imitekerereze.
Nyinawumuntu avuga ko kubaka urugo ari umushinga mbere na mbere w’Imana. Ko ari umushinga mwiza ariko ukaba umushinga UDAHUBUKIRWA.
Nyinawumuntu avuga ko umuntu wese akeneye undi, niyo mpamvu ashaka, bityo ngo umuntu aba akwiye gushaka uwo akunda koko kandi yibonamo.
Urugo ngo rupfira mu kurambagiza kuko ngo iyo umuntu ashatse uwo ariwe wese ibintu bipfira aho kuko ngo uyu muntu ufashe utamutekerejeho utamuteganyaga ntabwo aba azagufasha kugera ku ndoto zawe z’urugo wifuza.
At “Mu bintu rero bitera gutandukana kw’ingo harimo kuba utararambagije neza, ugasanga warambagirije kuri Internet.
Ubundi umugabo cyangwa umugore aba yaje kukuzuza kuko ntuba wuzuye wenyine, hari igihe rero ujya kurambagize ntiwite ko uwo ushaka ari umuntu wo kukuzuza ahubwo ukita ku bindi.
Ugashaka umuntu kuko akize cyangwa ugashaka umuntu kuko ari mwiza gusa. Icyo gihe rero ntabwo uba ushatse umutima w’urugo rwawe.”
Muri iki gihe mu kurambagiza ngo abantu baribeshya cyangwa bakabeshywa cyane, ugashaka umuntu kubera ‘influence’ y’abandi, ugashaka umuntu kuko yaguteye/wamuteye inda, ugashaka umuntu abandi bagushimiye….ibyo byose ngo byitwa ‘Mariage conditionnelle’.
Ati “Ugasanga umuntu aravuga ati ‘nta kindi nakora reka murongore cyangwa andongore. Abenshi nk’aba uzasanga benda kubyarira mu Kiliziya. Urugo nkuru iyo rurambye rugakomera biba ari ugushima Imana kuko uba ushatse uwo utashakaga.”
Ngo hari abagore usanga ari abagabo mu myumvire
Nyinawumuntu avuga ko umugore atari umukobwa ufite amabere gusa umugabo akaba ufite ubwanwa gusa. Ko mu kurambagiza umuntu akwiye kureba umugabo mu myumvire n’imigirire koko, n’umugore mu myumvire n’imigirire.
Ati “Nta mugabo ushaka undi, nubwo bataba bahuje ibitsina ariko bahuje imitekerereze, hari aho uzabona umugore ari umugabo cyane kurusha umugabo bashakanye. Mu rugo ugasanga umugore arashaka kuba umugabo kandi n’umugabo agomba gukomeza kuba umugabo. Iyo mubaye abagabo babiri mu rugo rero birayoberana.”
Mu bumenyabantu kandi ngo ntibabara imyaka bashingiye ku yanditse mu ndangamuntu, bareba ahubwo imitekerereze y’umuntu bakamushyira mu kiciro cy’abakuru n’icy’abana. Ngo usanga hari abakuru batekereza nk’abana, hakaba n’abana usanga bafite ibitekerezo by’abakuru.
Mu kurambagiza rero umuntu ngo akwiye kwitondera cyane gushaka umuntu uzaza mu rugo ngo aze kurerwa nk’umwana, nyamara aboneka nk’umukuru.
Ati “Ntabwo washaka umuntu uje kumurera ngo bikunde mwubake. Ahubwo yajya mu irerero bakabanza bakamurera yamara gukura akabona kuza akubaka urugo, naho ubundi hazamo kuvunyishanya kuko umwana ntabwo akora imishinga, umwana ararerwa.”
Mukasekuru Donatille (Nyinawumuntu) avuga kandi ko mu bitanya ingo harimo abantu bashaka kubaka nk’uko kwa kanaka bubatse (mu bijyanye n’ubushobozi) cyangwa agashaka kubaka nk’uko ababyeyi be bubatse.
Ati “Niba yarakuze ise akubita nyina akumva ko nawe byanze bikunze agomba gukubita umugore we. Umwana akurira mu muco ababyeyi be bari bafite niyo mpamvu tugomba kubaka imiryango myiza kugira ngo abana bayivutsemo nabo bazubake ingo nziza.”
Ngo nta muntu mubi uhindukira mu rugo
Nyinawumuntu ashimangira ko abatarashaka bakwiye kwitonda cyane mu kurambagiza kuko ngo udashobora gushaka umuntu w’imico n’ingeso bibi ngo azahinduke ageze mu rugo.
Ati “Ntabwo bishoboka ko umuntu ahindura undi, umuntu ubwe niwe wihindura ahubwo yenda uwo mwashakanye akabigufashamo nka mugenzi wawe.
Ariko niba wari usanzwe usambana n’abagore cyangwa abagabo benshi ntibivuze ngo niba ushatse uwawe urahita ubireka.
Ubusambanyi ngo ni imwe mu mpamvu ikomeye cyane ituma ingo muri iki gihe zitana cyane. Mu gihe umuntu ubwe atabiretse ngo anabifashwemo n’uwo bashakanye nibwo uzasanga abantu bane baryamye ku gitanda kimwe kandi abakiriho mu by’ukuri ari babiri ahubwo buri wese afite undi mu mutwe we bakundana ku ruhande.”
Ubusambanyi bukabije mu bakiri ingaragu nabwo ngo buba bushyira ku ngo zubatse nabi igihe bazaba barashatse, umuntu utarashaka Nyinawumuntu amugira inama yo kwifata kugira ngo azubake neza.
Usanzwe asambana nawe mu gihe yitegura kubaka ngo aba akwiye kwifata nibura amezi atandatu mbere yo gushyingirwa ubwonko bwe bugakamukamo iryo rari.
Daddy SADIKI RUBANGURA
UM– USEKE.RW
English
16 Comments
Courage, ibyo birakenewe nejejwe no kubona ko hari abandi bihangayikishije, nimuze dukore turwanye ayo mahano.
Nibyo koko burya nta muntu uhindura undi. Nushaka umugabo cg umugire afite ingeso ntuzibwire ngoo azayireka ahubwo uzabe witeguye kuyubakiraho
Kubakira ku ngeso ye! Aho none byazaba guhingira cyangwa gutabirira ku ifuku?
nsobanurira icyo washatse kuvuga ntavaho nkumva nabi. Gira amahoro!
Wubakiraho Beton hit was KWIHANGANA n’IMBABAZI
Thanks
Gutandukana kwabashakanye biratizwa umurindi n’amategeko yitwa ko arengera umugore
nyamara asenya umuryango!Ayo mategeko Abanyafurika bayakopera mu bihugu byateye imbere mu majyambere y’ubutunzi ngo bakunde bashimwe nabo bityo imfashanyo ziboneke!
Ntakundi akaje karemerwa mu minsi iri mbere amategeko yo gushyingira abahuje ibitsina azemerwa mu bihugu bikiri mu nzira y’amajyambere!Umugabo arigira yakwibura akipfira!
@Matuzo,
Ndemerankwa nawe ibyo uvuga 100% amategeko apyinagaza umugabo niyo asigaye atuma ingo zisenyuka cyane mu Rwanda muri iki gihe ndetse no muri Africa muri rusange birababaje kubona umuntu asigaye ajya gusaba akazi ariko ugasaba Imana ngo ntihaze kuba harimo umukobwa kuko iyo arimo niwe uba ufite priority ibyo basigaye barihangishije ngo gender balance.
ese twebwe abagabo tuzarengerwa ryari?
ayayayayayaaa, uyu mukecuru ni umukoboyi shahu!!! ni umunyakavuyo gakomeye!! hahahahaha!!! mbona ariwe wahungabanye!! She is so disturb on
Oya weeeeeee!!!!!N’ukuri abagore cyangwa ababyeyi bari ba maaama naho abubu rwose byararangiye ahubwo ndabinginze mubwire inzira bicamo ngo umuntu abone divorce vuba bidafashe iriya myaka yose kuko,intimba natewe n’umugore wanjye yanteye kuzinukwa urushako yeeeeee najye sindi malayika pe ariko nanone sindi ishitani buhembe ikirihagataho hagati ya malayika na shitani n’umuntu yeah nd’umuntu ucumura kandi ndumuntu wagira intege nke,ariko umuntu muvugana gato ngo ndagiye ndahukanye bagakomakoma akagaruka ejo akongera ngo ndagiye…..
Umugore ugutana abana akagenda urumva uwo muco aruwurwanda koko….wamugani nubwo natwe abagabo tutari bamiseke igoroye ariko amategeko leta yashyizeho niyo arigutuma ingo nyinshi zisenyuka…..
Ibyo gutana ngewe ndabishyigikiye kuko aho kugirango bicane, batana kuko n’ubundi kubana badakundana ntacyo bimaze. Ariko kandi nanga ibi bintu byivanga mutungo kuko birimo gusenya ingo aho ubu umukobwa asigaye yitwaza ko ahohoterwa kugirango yibonere ibintu atavunikiye, atazanye, kugeza kugasambu k’umusore yiherewe n’ababyeyi be. Iki kintu reta ikirebe neza kandi igihe agaciro kuko umuryango niwo shingiro ry’igihugu kiza.
Aba députés, aho kwirirwa baza kutwigisha amategeko aduhana igihe tubanye nabi, nibabanze badufashe kubonera umuti ibibazo bisanzwe. Nkubu bamaze igihe badusobanurira itegeko ryemeza ko m’urugo Umugore n’umugabo bose ari abatware k’urwego rumwe!!! Icyo ni ikintu kiza d’accord. Ariko birengagiza umuco nyarwanda ndetse na tradition, uko ibintu bisanzwe bikorwa. Icyo si ikintu umuntu ajyenda akicara mubiro yarangiza akandika ngo ubu bibaye itegeko. Bisaba kubanza kunvikana n’abo bireba, ukabasobanurira bakabyunva, bakabishima hanyuma BAKABIHITAMO.
Igihe cyose tutabyihitiyemo twebwe ubwacu, no kubikora ntabyo tuzakora. C’est claire. Ubusanzwe mukora neza ariko ikintu cyo gushyiraho amategeko cyane cyane areba umuryango, nge numva ibyiza ari uko mwajya mubanza mukatugisha inama kuko nitwe bireba mbere na mbere. Ikindi kandi mwe( les députés) ntitwabatoreye kutuyobora, twabatoreye kuduhagararira, niyo mpanvu mwakabaye mumanuka hasi epfo iriya mubishanga iyo tuba tukababwira ibyo twifuza.Kuko kwiga twarize, ibitabo turabisoma peu importe indimi birimo kandi tukabyumva.
Uvuze ukuri cyane amategeko y umuryango atangirira Mu muryango ntago yigishwa umuryango
Kurije ibitera ubutunvikana bwa abashakanye alukuva kumucyo abantu bakita cyane kubya mategeko ya shyisweho. Ubundi abashyakanye ingo zabo zubakwagwa nibuntu biri: Imana no mucyo ugizwe nabahye bomugole numugabo. Ubu abakobwa benshyi baja kulongorwa atalibyo baliho bamwe baba bishyakira ibintu abandi kwerekana ngo balungowe. Ubundi abebyeyi nibapfashyaga nabakuru bamadini balibapfite ubulyo bapfashya abo bajja kubaka urugo ubu ibyose byalatawe. Ndibirwa ko abo bose balorora kure basyaka ubulyo bagulura ibyo byose byapfashyaga kuba urugo bagabanya gutecyereza mu musaluro. Aliho nikindi nenga intwerereno nayo ipfite uko yandinduye ibintu ukundi kuko ihari benshyi baka pfa kwibwira ngo urugo lwobakwa napfaranga gusa.
Ndabona mwibagiwe kuvuga ubwinshi bwamadini, kubwinyungu abayashinze baba bishakira ntibabona umwanya wo kwita kubo basezeranyije ngo babane, kimwe nuko hari abasezeranira mu idini ridashinga ejo rigasenyuka, ese uwo muryango urumva wakurahe urukundo, abana bawutsemo se bo bazaba abande, nabo bazajarajara mumatorero yose nkababyeyi babo, njye mperuka kera umushumba wa gusezeranyaga urongora/urongorwa yagiraga igihe asura uwo muryango akamenya uko ubayeho mumibanire yabo, baba barateshutse bagahabwa impanuro.
bavandimwe mwese mwatanze ibitekerezo byanyu kuriyi nkuru munyemerere mbagishe inama kukibazo mfite kijyanye just nibibazo byingo zubu;muminsi ishize umugore utuye mu karere ka rubavu yafungishije umugabo we kuri police amushinja ko ngo yafashe umwana we kungufu,bigeze mubushinjacyaha umugabo yajyanywe murukiko imbere yumucamanza atungurwa nokubwirwa ko yahishiriye uwafashe umwana we kungufu byumvikane neza ko ikirego cyageze murukiko cyahinduriwe inyito byabaye ngombwa ko umucamanza abaza nyina wumwana niba uwo mwana bivugwa ko yafashwe kungufu nase niba yaramutahanye kumugabo cg niba ariwe bamubyaranye asubiza ko ariwe bamubyaranye dore ko banafitanye abana babiri yongeye kubazwa inyungu se wumwana yaba afite muguhishira uwamwangirije umwana abura ibyo gusubiza yongeye kubazwa niba ntamakimbirane basanzwe bafitanye avuga ko ntayo kandi birazwi hose ndetse ninzego zibanze ko bahorana amakimbirane nyuma yokumva impande zombi umucamanza yiyambaje raporo ya muganga maze igaragaza ko ntahohotera ryabayeho ariko ko inyuma kugitsina cyumwana hari ibimenyetso byakoreshejwe intoki ,ubu tuvugana umugabo yafunguwe byagateganyo mugihe agitegereje kuburana mumizi yurubanza ariko akaba ategereje atari murugo rwe kandi bimaze kugaragara ko uwo mugore atwite kandi atabanaga numugabo kugitanda kimwe byumvikane ko inda atwite atariyumugabo basezeranye byemewe namategeko.mutugire inama mugihe uyu mugabo agitegereje urubanza ko ruburanishwa mumizi kandi harimpungenge ko rushobora nokutaburanishwa.mugire amahoro yimana basomyi beza.
Inama ushaka ko tukugira ntacyo yagufasha. ahubwo ukurikije uko ubisobanura umugabo niwe ugomba gufata icyemezo gikura ubuzima bwe mu kaga kandi kikarengera abana be kuko nabo babangamiwe n’imibanire y’ababyeyi.
Inama se hari indi ubwo uretse gusaba divorce kuko uwo mugore numusambanyi none se twabagira inama yo kubana ubwo
Batandukanye bibarya he?
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